I've found my home

the proposal/the hangover/transformers

Let's go from bad to good brilliant.

Transformers - there is little I can say about this film. If you are an eight year old boy, you'll love it.
If you are a lover of giant robots, you'll love it. If you are a lover of loud noise, lots of explosion, puerile jokes, plot holes big enough to drive a very large robot with testicles (I kid you not) through, you'll love it. Personally, I disliked it intensely. It wasn't even "so bad it's good". It was just poor. I'm too old to have been into Transformers when they came out, and my kids are too young to have ever really bothered. I have no interest, therefore no love for Transformers. I couldn't find anything to like in this film. Nikos loved it! I hope that the DVD of it gets to live in his dad's house.

The Proposal - I like chick-flicks. I'm not embarrassed to say it, I like chick-flicks. The Proposal isn't a very good chick-flick. You know how the film is going to go: they hate each other; they start to like each other; they hate each other; they fall in love. Unfortunately for The Proposal: they don't really hate each other; they never really get to like each other; they don't hate each other; they still don't love each other. This just isn't worth seeing at the cinema. I'm not sure that it is even worth paying to rent the DVD...except...Sandra Bullock is nekkid, there are a couple of funny moments, Sandra Bullock is nekkid, Ryan Reynolds is very good, Sandra Bullock is nekkid, and did I mention that Sandra Bullock is nekkid!!

The Hangover - from awful to mediocre to absolute genius. The Hangover is pure genius. It isn't just funny, it is hilarious - and yes, I know that when a film is described as hilarious it normally isn't. The man, three seats down from me, fell off his chair four times he was laughing so hard. Ask me why it is funny and I can't explain it. There have been moments when I have tried, believe me, and people have just stood and stared, bemused. This really is a case of "you had to be there". This is fun, fun, fun. In fact, I want to see it again. Can we go again please?

the olivetti chronicles

On 29th October 2004 I wrote a post, on a blog, in a galaxy far, far away. The post was about John Peel, a radio DJ who had died four days earlier. Ha, John Peel, a radio DJ - he was so much more than that simple description. Anyhoo, that post was linked to in another blog, Daisy's blog. Now, I know what you are thinking, where is he going with this? Well, Daisy's blog was linked to Croila's blog (gosh, do you remember the days when we all had blog rolls that went on and on? Do you remember the days when we all read 100 blogs a day? Oh, was that just me?). Croila's blog was quite famous in 2005, it got a mention in the NY Times. They were talking about prominant female bloggers and they linked to her blog. So, have you got the trail yet?

On the 30th of October, 2005 maria followed a link in the NY Times that took her to Croila's blog. The NY Times had mentioned the design of Croila's page and so Croila, that day, led with a link to Daisy's blog, recommending her blog design. maria moved on to Daisy's blog. Daisy's lead post that day was about John Peel and mentioned that I had just written about him. maria, with no idea who John Peel was, followed the link, and ended up on my blog.

And so it began.

Yep, oddly enough, it was my writing about John Peel that brought us together. Over four years later, here I am writing a post about John Peel again, but this time I am sitting in Mexico with maria beside me.

The Olivetti Chronicles by John Peel

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I didn't know this book existed. Actually, that's not true. I had seen in my Goodreads update that Neil Gaiman had just read a book about John Peel, but I didn't take a lot of notice. I hit delete and moved on. Therefore, it was a wonderful surprise when maria handed me a parcel from Amazon and wished me a happy father's day.

This is a collection of some of John Peel's writing, all of it hammered out on his Olivetti typewriter (hence the title). The articles are collected from several sources and span four decades, the 1970s to the 2000s.

It is wonderful to "hear" John's voice again. Through the stories you rediscover his love of his family, music, and Liverpool football club. Obviously, most people know Mr. Peel (I can't really call him John) through his radio shows. In my case (and I am probably not alone in this) it was spending the night, listening through an ear piece, as the signal faded in-and-out, under the blankets - so I wouldn't get caught. From 1976 to 1979 I followed a revolution in music through its greatest reporter, John Peel.

Some of the articles in this book deal with the paucity of music in 1975/6. John Peel predicts (and often demands) a change in the music scene. When the change comes, centred around The Sex Pistols, John Peel leaps to their defence. In one article, his defence is more of an attack on the "old" establishment, and the Last Night of The Proms.

But not all the articles are about music, many cover his other interests; family, football, television, and TT racing.

This is a fantastic book for anyone who was ever touched by John Peel's own brand of magic. It is a great book for anyone who grew up through the years 74-84, as the book will cause you to reminisce over "the good olde days". It is a good book for anyone who enjoys well thought out writing.

Can you tell I really enjoyed this book?

Actually, this is going to be the gift that keeps on giving. Obviously, many of the references in the book will mean nothing to maria. Therefore I have read this book with a pencil in one hand. The book is now full of footnotes - explaining all the references that a Mexican would not really get. Although, to be honest, I'm not sure that I can properly explain either The Eurovision Song Contest or Cliff Richard.

View all my reviews.

let's see if I can remember how this goes

Yeah, I know, but, like, stuff has kept occurring. There are three half written posts in the drafts file which I've just read and have no idea how to finish them - so they've been deleted. I should write about the films I've seen, the books I've read, the father's day present and what it meant. I could write about the job, about graduation, about the week ahead with no students. However, this is blogging and what better way to get back into the trend of writing than doing a meme? So, stolen from Helly:

65 Questions You’ve Probably Never Been Asked…

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Hair. I normally stand in the shower for three minutes, letting the water run over me as I slowly increase the hot water, decrease the cold, find that temperature that boils lobsters, then wash my hair. I tend to wash downwards, finishing with my feet.Working on the idea that the dirt gets washed down. Does anyone start at the bottom and work up?

2. What colo(u)r is your favourite hoodie?
Green(ish). It's new, so it's my favourite at the moment. Of course, when it gets colder (or I'm in a need-for-security moment) I might change my mind and reach for my black Spider-Man hoody.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Eh? Well yes. Slightly confused with question - do people go round randomly kissing people? Oh, yes they do, I suppose. Or, they might be the head of a mafia family who is lulling a soon-to-be-swimming-with-the-fish person. Or they could be setting up the messiah (he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy) for a fist full of dollars (or a few dollars more).

4. Do you plan outfits?
Do you mean plan as in what I am wearing tomorrow? No. Do you mean plan as in now I've grabbed this t-shirt I might wear it with this shirt? Yes. Although I know what I am wearing tomorrow, and for the rest of the week - I wear a uniform to work.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Hot. Tired. Happy. Satisfied. Happy. We spent the morning with friends. maria wanted to take pictures of them (and their children), so we crossed the border and went to Balboa Park. Crossing the border at the weekend is always traumatic before you get there - will there be long queues, will you get across easily, will I get the humourless border guard (as if there is one with a sense of humour...except there is one. My visa expires on July 4th and he always finds this the funniest thing, the fact I will be kicked out of the States on July 4th). The crossing went well, the picture taking was great. Afterwards we went for breakfast together. I ate. This is something I don't normally do in company but I did. And, whoot, everything went well. We then went to Seaport Village, where we walked, talked, bought books. Now I'm back home. The kids are zoned out in front of the tele, maria is sat beside me reading, I am posting. I am happy.

6. What's the closest thing to you that’s red?
My t-shirt.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
My dad turned up at the flat, came in, sat down. I asked him if he wanted a drink. He said no. maria got out of bed (not in the dream, in reality) and I woke up and told her that she didn't need to get my dad a drink. I miss my dad.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
The waiter where we had breakfast had nice eyes according to Brenda and maria. I spoke to him, he replied, but I can't see this being a long term relationship.

9. What are you craving right now?
Nothing. Which is odd for me, as I normally have a desire for something. At the back of my mind I'd quite like a beer, but I don't crave one, and I won't have one.

10. Do you floss?
Nope. Got me a sonic toothbrush and I'm hoping that that takes care of business.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

I've just deleted Helly's answer which mentioned Cabbage Patch Dolls. So that is what first came to mind. However, so you don't think I'm cheating...The Cabbage Patch is the nickname for Twickenham Rugby ground, which is the home ground for the England Rugby Club (it used to be a cabbage patch before it became a ground). There is a pub nearby called (drumroll for suspense) The Cabbage Patch and I have been barred from this pub. Oddly enough, although I have been thrown out of many pubs, I have only been barred from one - The Cabbage Patch. And the crime I committed to incur the wrath of the owners? I don't know. I was on a pub crawl around Twickenham. The Cabbage Patch was the ninth/tenth pub? I had stuck to halves all night (I knew it was going to be a long night and we weren't half way through the pubs we were visiting). My (future) best man was drinking three dart throws in every pub - he'd walk in, throw three darts at the board, count along the shelf to the number he got on the board and have one of those (unless he hit a double or a treble). Others were doing their own thing. I got in the pub, ordered my half and went to the pinball machine (it was an Alien Invaders machine). Fifteen minutes later I was barred from the pub and spent the rest of the night with a totally inconsolable (future) best man. I never did get the full story (or any story) out of him, just it was his fault that I could never drink there again.

12. Are you emotional?
Yes. Very. Some would say "too". But I am emotional.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Nope.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Ice cream in a cone? Lick. Also try to push the ice cream all the way down the cone too, so I have ice cream to the bottom. Cornettos took all the fun out of that game.

15. Do you like your hair?
No. And I realise that there are people who are aghast at that statement (yes, I'm looking at you) but I don't like my hair.

16. Do you like yourself?
Ha! You mean physically or mentally? Mind you, it is probably the same answer: yes, no, maybe, sometimes, often, whatever.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
No. Michael Jackson died the other day and for a couple of seconds I felt sad and then...then I remembered the children who "slept in his bed". What has that got to do with eating with George W. Bush? Well, no matter how many people try to convince me that he's a wonderful raconteur, a great person to meet, a fantastic bloke, so that, just for a couple of seconds I think "I'd like to go out and eat with him". That's when I remember all the children's futures he's fucked. So, that's a no then.

18. What are you listening to right now?
The fan in our bedroom. In the background I can hear the kids are watching something that sounds cartooney. And the drier is going on the balcony.

19. Are your parents strict?
My mum is strict. My dad wasn't. Actually, my dad was strict. My mum would beat me, my father would talk to me. I suppose, looking back at it, my father's lectures were more frightening than my mum's violence. Also they were more effective. I am my father's son because of the things he said and the way he acted. I've also realised that I have portrayed my mum in a bad light here. Please don't think badly of her. I was (am) a frustrating type of person. Many people have wanted to (and actually have) hit me. I bring out the worst in people sometimes.

20. Would you go sky diving?
No. One of my "special abilities" is to see multiple endings to any scenario. I am the ultimate risk assessor. Of the many varied endings to a sky diving event, there is only one that is good. The rest end in death or worse (and yes, believe me when I say that are a lot of things worse than death). 

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
I don't know. I suppose so. It looks like sick, right? I must have eaten it at some point in my life. Just didn't remember to remember. Haven't bought any, ever.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yep. Mainly through teaching their kids.

23. Do you rent movies often?
Nope.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
maria's wit. maria's personality. maria's earrings. The handcuffs attached to the bed. The look in my eye when I thought about handcuffs????

25. How many countries have you visited?
A lot. There was the two week trip through Europe, when my dad drove the six of us to Austria in order to remake "The Sound of Music" (don't ask). At one point, I remember him pulling into a lay-by and making us all get out the car so that we could all say we had stood in Luxembourg (it wasn't on his itinerary to actually stop for any length of time in Luxembourg). So, I have been to all of the Western European countries (except Portugal); the Czech Republic; Tunisia; the USofA; Mexico.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Yes. Unfortunately, most of them to the emergency services. Now, that I'm old, wise, and mature (I had that derisive snort at the back) I am very embarrassed about this. But, at the time, I was dead cool in front of my peers. 

27. Ever been on a train?
Errrr, yes. Lots.

28. Brown or white eggs?
In my mind, white eggs taste nicer. I always think, when I have a nice egg (and I haven't seen the shell), I bet that was a white egg. I tend to buy brown eggs though. I don't know why...are they cheaper? Are free range brown? And now I've just realised that the eggs in the fridge are white. So. I don't know the answer to this question any more. I am confused.

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes. This is a meme, on the internet, and the question asks if you have a mobile? Would someone, connected to the internet, answer no? Who is this person? Why? I could understand you asking "do you use your mobile for anything else than phoning?" But, let's assume that most people who are doing a meme have a mobile, shall we?

30. Do you use chapstick?
No. Do I have a chapstick used on me? Yes. Every now and then maria complains that I have dry lips (or something) and then coats me in this gunk. I worry that people will think that I am a transvestite. Yep, I am this shallow and pathetic.

31. Do you own a gun?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. No.

32. Can you use chopsticks?
Yes. Can I use them well? No.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
maria. At seven-thirty we will take the kids back to their dad's house. We shall come home, alone.

34. Are you too forgiving?
Yes I am - according to maria. I didn't know the answer to this question so I asked her. She replied: "you tell me things and my eyelids twitch, in anger. You should be out there, killing people - or at least maiming them. But you forgive and forget." So that's me then, too forgiving.

35. Ever been in love?
Yes.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
She'll be processing all the pictures she took today. She'll be missing me. She'll pick me up from work. She might go across the border to watch "The Hangover" again with her boyfriend. Or, she might drag said boyfriend to IKEA again....I hope it's the former :^)

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Oops. I suppose you mean those creme puffs that they sell at the mall? You see, I love profiteroles.  Adore profiteroles. Quite like chou(x) pastry just filled with cream. Those you could call creme puffs. So, when I saw that there was a store selling creme puffs at the mall, I became very excited. When I saw the size of the things, I became very, very excited. When I saw that they filled them with custard my erection failed. What? Custard filled chou(x) pastry - no way, joseph! The store closed a week later. A week after I refused to purchase a 12 pack of creme puffs the store closed. I feel slightly guilty every time we walk past the place.

38. Last time you cried?
Held back the tears on Friday at Graduation. I suppose "UP" was the last time.

39. What was the last question you asked?
Question 34: Am I too forgiving?

40. Favo(u)rite time of the year?
Vacations. Second week of vacations.

41. Who did you last call?
J.A.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Actually I'm not. I am constantly accused of being sarcastic but this is from people who don't know what sarcasm is, and assume that what I am saying is sarcastic. It rarely is. The last time I was accused of being sarcastic I was actually been down right rude and insulting. However, I accepted the accusation, as I felt that pointing out that their failure to recognise my rudeness just proved their moron credentials would have led to further complications.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yes. And if I remember it rightly, it wasn't bad. I say this because that is exactly what I said 48 hours ago, whilst watching "3:10 to Yuma" (which is excellent). It appeared, after an IMDB search, that one of the actors in 3:10 had been in TBE, which maria professed to not having seen. I came back with a quick review: I have seen it and it's not as bad as you might imagine it to be.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes. That is one of the main reasons I studied Passe-Fu. Which, as eny fule noes, is the art of self defense against inanimate objects.

45. Favo(u)rite colo(u)r?
I thought this was "65 questions you've probably never been asked"? I have been asked this question before and I tend to answer it with...really? a favourite colour? you want me to pick a favourite colour? fish.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
I should have. I should have slapped so many, many people. But I am just too forgiving...probably. I don't remember "slapping" anyone.

47. Is your hair curly?
When it is long.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Can't remember. I haven't bought a CD in 2009, and I'm not sure I bought any in 2008. For my birthday I received the new Snow Patrol CD. So that was bought.

49. Do looks matter?
In what way? Of course looks don't matter if we are talking about a friend, or an acquaintance. If we are asking about a long term relationship, yes.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
No, even though I'm too forgiving. And I wouldn't be expected to be forgiven.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
MY phone bill? No. OUR phone bill? Sometimes. It was last month, and I expected to take the blame because I knew I had phoned my mum a couple of times (her computer has died a death and she has no way of getting on the internet). So when I saw the bill, I stayed quiet. Then maria apologised for the phone call to France and I was off the hook.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Yes. No matter how bad these bits are or get, there was a time when I saw where my life could have gone. The place I'm in, the situation I am in, right now, is far better to the place I could have been in right now.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I have fallen asleep in front of the tele but that is in the tele room. We don't have a tele in the bedroom. The bedroom is for other activities.

54. Can you handle the truth?
Yes. Sometimes I don't handle it very well at the get go, but I prefer the truth.

55. Do you have good vision?
I had wonderful vision. Perfect vision. And then my arms got shorter. I struggle to read without glasses now. This is not something that makes me happy.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Long term - no. I am too forgiving (I'm also irritating in the way I bang on and on about the same thing). In the short term though, I can hate with a heat that burns white. And I have done that for more than three people.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Rarely. Three/four times a week? Mainly to maria.

58. The last person you held hands with?
maria.

59. What are you wearing?
Red t-shirt, dark blue jeans, dark blue pants (that's underwear to you), brown and blue striped socks, SPF 50 sunblock, Armani Code.

60.What is your favo(u)rite animal?
Again with the favourite. It used to be a penguin but "Happy Feet" destroyed that dream.

61. Where was your default picture taken?
A Japanese Fusion Restaurant. Unless you are looking at the one of me in a tie. That was taken at work.

62. Can you hula hoop?
No.

63. Do you have a job?
Yes. I also have a life.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
A book. Two books. I was supposed to be buying a book but on the way to the checkout I picked up another. Except, I didn't have enough money to pay for the two books, so maria paid for them. So, that means...popcorn and drinks, at the cinema, yesterday. We all went to see Transformers. Quick review: don't go see Transformers.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?

Yes. Many, many times. Out of my window, onto the garage roof, onto the top of the gate, onto the fence, onto the path, off down the road. Four hours later, back up the road, onto the path, onto the fence, onto the gate, onto the garage roof, in through the window, back into my bedroom. Three nights a week for two and a bit years.

up/terminator

We've been to the cinema twice this week. Once to see Terminator and once to see UP. One was the story of man driven by his past, determined to achieve a better future with a single minded determination. The other was Terminator. [Ha! Did you see what I did there?] Oddly enough, there were certain similarities between the two films, and one major difference. Both have their fair share of action (both managed to extract squeals/exclamations/profanities from maria). Both are about a man driven by a dream, a desire to achieve an end result. Both have main characters with "father issues". But only one has a sense of humanity - and that is the cartoon.

At one point, in Terminator:Salvation, John Connor (Christian Bale) berates the leaders of the resistance for losing their humanity. The leaders want to bomb a Skynet centre, even though civilians would be killed. Connor claims that humans wouldn't do "that sort of thing" only robots would. However, much as I'd hate to mention it, humans would, could, and can do such things. No, the difference between humans and robots is humour. Humour in adversity, humour in everything. There was no humour at all in Terminator. Obviously some films don't have, don't need, any humour - Pan's Labyrinth was relentless - but an action movie, a Terminator film, a survival of the human race story, needs a reason for humans to survive. And if life was as relentlessly sad as portrayed in Terminator:Salvation, I'm not sure that the robots haven't got it right. In fact, the closest thing that came to humour was from a computer. I'm not saying Terminator was bad, it was very, very good. It did everything you wanted from a film. The script was excellent, it all made sense, the plot holes were hardly noticeable - there was nothing that stood as as wrong. The acting was brilliant. I love Christian Bale - he's intense, he's honest in his performance, you feel that this is his life. I would follow Christian Bale. Sam Worthington was also excellent. (I've just deleted/re-written the next sentence six times because I can't find the correct way to say this but) His lack of emotion was brilliantly portrayed. Although he seemed to not react, stays at an emotionally level point, you could feel his reactions/his thoughts/his confusions. (arrrgh, can't explain it. His body language is sensational, you can feel exactly what he is thinking by the way he stands....this makes no sense does it?) Terminator:Salvation is a brilliant film. A film that should be seen in the cinema. The action sequences had both of us ducking and squealing. The story is good. The acting is excellent. I would fully recommend it to anyone.

UP is, simply put, excellent. It's different to any other Pixar film, mainly because I've never sat in any Pixar film with tears rolling down my cheeks three times - actually, come to think about it, I'm not sure that I've cried that hard that many times in any film. There is, as usual, a Pixar short to whet the appetite. "Partly Cloudy" was a sweet, gentle short. There were a couple of funny moments but the underlying theme was slightly sad. It had a happy ending, it was cute, but it was more of an "aahhhh" five minutes, rather than a "laugh out loud let's get it on" five minutes. And then UP started. The first ten minutes was a perfect film. Like the beginning of Wall*E there was little dialogue, there was a setting scene followed by a five minute montage that told a whole story better than some films tell them in two hours. It was wonderful. But it reduced me to a tear-stained wreck. I honestly thought I should leave the cinema there and then, there was no way I was going to see anything/feel anything that could top the perfection of that opening sequence. I didn't leave, I stayed, and the film surpassed itself. There is another sequence in the film, later, that also wordlessly reduced both of us to tears, and there is,of course, the usual Pixar "father situation" that made me cry for the third time. However, this makes the film sound really sad, but it isn't. It is positive and uplifting. It has some wonderfully brilliant comedic moments and the action sequences are actually tense. The use of 3D is not intrusive but highly effective. I thought the film was way too adult orientated, it seemed to affect me, talk to me, more than any other Pixar film, however the kids loved it - so I am probably wrong. At this moment, I can't think of a better film I've seen this year. Again this must be seen in the cinema and must be seen in 3D.

[for another opinion on UP you might want to read this]

that bloke in the vertex?

It is I, trying to rid myself in a belief of deities.

Do you feel sexy? No, seriously, as you read this do you feel a little bit sexier? A little bit cooler? A little bit je ne sais cois? 'Cos I do. Calm down, calm down, I'm not being sexy as I type this. You don't have to worry about me being doused in cologne, wearing something special (or nothing at all), nor licking my eyebrows whilst breathing through my ears - nope, it isn't me that is sexy. It is my laptop. You know all those times I've complained about my laptop? All those times I've slagged off Vista? Well, my luvverly girlfriend offered me a Wii for my birthday.

[pause]

No, I'm not typing this on my Wii, keep up. I turned down a Wii. Oh, there are many reasons to covet the Wii but...I am old. As much as I want to be Wii-Fit, as much as I want to play Animal Crossing, as much as I want to pl...oh, sod it, I want to watch Friday Night Lights! I need to watch So You Think You Can Dance. I have to watch Gordon Ramsey. I can't take up my valuable tele time with Wii stuff.

So I said so.

So maria got me something that I would use a lot. Every day. Most of the day. Not totally 24/7 more like 10/7 - which, to be honest, is actually fantastic. So, she got me a new laptop.

Not just any old laptop.

I've got a MacBook Pro. A solid block of aluminium with a glass screen. It looks good, it feels good, and by golly - it is sex on a stick. maria also got me iWork. All of my Microsoft Office documents have been transferred. And..and it boots up and is ready for work in seconds. It does things when I ask. The keyboard actually works (although maria has got me this horrible membrane that is like a plastic cover on your sofa....but after several days you should see the dirt that has accumulated on it, not nice). And my students love it. I know, I know, why should my students care? Because there is nothing better than a laptop that works in a classroom. I live my life with kids asking me questions, and with this I can answer their questions in seconds, without the laptop going "wait.....wait.....wait....fuck off".

So, I got a laptop, a macbook. I also got a printer. Plus iWork. That's enough. I got nothing else. Why should I?

Oh, I got jim-jams. Three pairs. And t-shirts. And trousers. And lotions/aftershaves. And books. And a suit jacket. And a belt.

And the kids got me T-shirts,and a shirt, and socks, and a belt.

So, I had my birthday. Oh, and I went to Disney, with my class. As you do.

ooo, look - still alive

You've seen this before:

crossing the border from maria rocio on Vimeo.

Now see this which is a totally different way to cross the border.

random stuff 'cos it's random

It's almost 8pm on Sunday night. I'm back at work tomorrow. I've already had a shower and a shave because tomorrow I might be short of time. Yesterday maria fell, tripped, and smashed her knees into concrete. Last night was not a great night, she was in a lot of pain, and kept disturbing. This, of course, disturbed me. We aren't going to go to bed until 11pm tonight (it's the final of Celebrity Apprentice and yes, we are this sad). I'm pretty sure I will fall asleep quickly but there is a chance that my brain is already thinking about tomorrow. Worse, I haven't woken up before 7/8am for two weeks. When the alarm kicks in at 6:15am it is going to be a struggle to get up. There is a chance that I really don't want to shower and shave. Plus, maria's knees are really hurting her, she can't drive. I'm going to have to drive to work tomorrow. This isn't a particular problem except, except maria is in pain, her knees hurt, and the only way she can distract herself is to think. Thinking about me driving in Mexico causes maria an immense amount of pain. In theory, she's not worried too much about me, it is every other eijit on the road. In her mind, she'd be happy if I set off to school at 4am, when there is less traffic. So I have to leave early. Now do you understand why I've showered and shaved already?

We've got neighbours. All of a sudden the block of flats has moved from only one occupied flat (us) to full (all four occupied). Last night the two students downstairs, in flat one, had a party that went on until 5am. The good news is, it wasn't that bad. The music was awful but it wasn't too loud - we could hear it but (in those moments when maria wasn't crying) we could still fall asleep. The woman next door, in flat four, moved in this weekend. We think she might have a dog. We aren't sure because it is a small, whiny, yappy-type dog if it exists. We've heard weird noises and not been able to put our fingers on it yet. We've been warned told that flat two is also to be occupied this week. All of this is good news/bad news. The bad news is that we are now surrounded by people who will have parties, will make strange noises, will annoy us at some stage. But the good news is that we are now surrounded by people - which makes us feel safer.

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Just received a phone call from a friend. He's convinced that his company is going to fold within the next couple of months. Some people would freeze at this moment, my friend just sees it as a world of opportunity. How much opportunity? He's invested in a taco stand and has spent the weekend selling tacos on the street. Absolutely fantastic!

It was Mother's Day today. May 10th is always Mother's Day in Mexico. It isn't a Sunday, it is May 10th. Got that? Mother's Day is a big event in Mexico. I realise that Mother's Day is a big thing world wide (because Hallmark has made it so) but in Mexico it isn't commercial, it's honest.  Example: after dropping the kids back off at their dad's (yep, even though they've been with us for two weeks they had (HAD) to return and spend time on Mother's Day with their mother), we parked the car and the guy who lives on the other side of the road was walking into his house, shouted at maria: "Felicidades!" Congratulations on being a mother. It is an important thing in Mexico.

I've never liked Joan Rivers. This is not important in the whole scheme of things, and I'm pretty sure that she isn't losing sleep over it. However, I've had Joan Rivers thrust upon my every Sunday night - we've been following Celebrity Apprentice. The one thing it has done for me is to move my feelings for Joan Rivers, change them totally. Now, I no longer dislike her...I actively hate her. Hate is something I don't do a lot of, I really don't have the time or energy for it. But, this moment, I hate Joan Rivers. The good news is that by tomorrow I'll have reset back to dislike. Which really is shorthand for "don't care".

Not mad keen on Dennis Leary either, always thought of him as a poor man's Bill Hicks. However, give him his due, every time I come into contact with him (normally via the boob-tube as he rarely visits) he manages to change my opinion of him. As much as it grieves me to say it, I kind of like him (that noise you can hear is Bill Hicks trying to hunt me down, and kill me). Anyhoo, he's doing an advert for Hulu at the moment. We loved the Seth MacFarlane Hulu advert - how freaky is it to hear all those different voices come out of one perso's mouth. But the Dennis Leary advert includes a line that, every time we hear it, we repeat to each other:

Your bliggity blogs, your facey spaces, your tweety pages.

Which reminds me, in case you missed it, we are no longer on Facebook. Simple reason (and it might be a warning to you), maria wasn't happy with the privacy. She had blocked someone from her page, ticked all the correct boxes, even visited the page to make sure that her updates weren't appearing there..and then that person commented on an update. Privacy/security is important to us. Facebook failed maria and, even though she loves her farm(s), it was goodbye to Facebook.

We had sushi today. I had my first curry at the age of six/seven. I didn't have my first Chinese meal until I was 18. I had my first McDonalds when I was 21 - yep, honest truth. It wasn't until 1982 that a MickeyDee opened up in Twickenham. I didn't have sushi until I was 35+. Today we had sushi. I'm crap with chopsticks. Do you know how weird it is to watch an eight year old, a fourteen year old be so much more coordinated with chopsticks than this here 47 year old? Hey, ho. I love their rice by the way. Bought an extra portion so that I can have it for lunch at school tomorrow...I'll be using a spoon.

[Look away Croila] The Mighty Blades drew on Friday, drew away - so the away goal counts double if it is all level at the end. Monday (tomorrow, in fact in less than 12 hours as I look at it) the second leg takes place at BDTBL (that's Beautiful Down Town Bramall Lane). Positive thoughts (you're exempted Mr. TLC) would be appreciated.

I realise that my love of reality programmes (Hell's Kitchen, So you Think You can Dance, Celebrity Apprentice) probably demeans me in your opinion but that's just the way I roll. Anyhoo, I'm one advert break away from the winner of Celebrity Apprentice being declared and I am so fucking annoyed. Why do some people think they have a given-right to demand they should win, just because...some people need to be slapped. So if anyone wants to go round and slap Joan Rivers, count me in. And then I hear that the Miss California is about to be stripped of her title. This means nothing to you (and should mean nothing to me) but the woman has been mocked, ridiculded, and attacked for her personal beliefs. When asked, in the Miss America final, her thoughts about gay marriage, she answered honestly. She accepted that it was legal in her country (although it isn't in her state, the state she represents) but was not for her or her family. Now, my politics aside, this is a fair answer - it isn't for her and her family. Unfortunately, her questioner was a gay man, annoyed about the fact that a vote (a free democratic vote) went against gay marriage in California. Now, it doesn't matter how wrong I, or he, thinks this vote is. This was the choice of a state in America, a state that has the fifth largest economy in the world. Of course, I disagree but let her say what she believes (I am that liberal), he has a blog with millions of readers, and she becomes a national target. And so, weirdly, I find myself not only defending a beauty pageant winner, but also a person against gay marriage  - there are moments when being this liberal really freaks me out.

2 days, 4 films

We went to the cinema on Saturday, twice.

In the morning we went to see Star Trek. It's good. It's fun. There's even talk of us going to see it again - 'cos you've got to see it in the cinema. [True story: in the adverts for the film GI Joe, on the television, the effects look poor. On the big screen they look awesome.] I realise that there is a feeling of relief amongst  the people who've seen it - relief that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But the good news is that it is actually good. The jokes made me laugh out loud. The action scenes were good. The acting was good (Simon Pegg is a comedic genius). The story was a bit iffy (I hate time travel) but was plausible in all the correct places. A jolly good time was had by one and all.

In the afternoon we saw Wolverine. Not so good. maria liked it because it's got Hugh Jackman in it. We won't be gong to see that again. At the big emotional scene, the deciding moment for Wolverine, as he screams at the sky, I giggled. maria told me off. But there is only so many times you can watch someone scream/howl at the sky. And there were a couple of plot holes/continuity errors that just irritated me (and when I say continuity, I mean within the scenes not comic-book continuity). Plus, it can never be a good sign of the general acting in a film when you make the comment: "Will.I.Am wasn't as cringingly bad as I thought he'd be."

Sunday was Mother's Day so we had the kids for the afternoon. We ended up watching Pink Panther 1 and 2 (the Steve Martin remakes). I must admit that there was a lot of laughter in the room, and Nikos walked out after 20 minutes. Yep, we laughed. It was silly, it was stupid, it made us giggle.

I recommend Star Trek. 

plague diary - day twelve

friday 8th may 2009

The kids go back to their dad's today! I'm still at work, cleaning classrooms and preparing for the students return. But that return on to school on Monday means, the kids go back to their dad's today. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love the kids, but the flat is tiny!

At work there are still surfaces to clean. There are also notice boards to change. But first we needed to meditate. You know, have a quick meditation, purge all the evilness and illness from our souls - and therefore the school. I would have said something, would have complained, would have....but the kids go back to their dad's today.

The classroom is ready, the school is ready, it's Friday afternoon and I'm out of work! Back at home Nikos is watching cartoons. His toys are spread out all over the floor. I have to tip-toe through the room carefully before I can sit down. I sit. I stand and pull the Transformer that has managed to wedge itself between my buttocks. I sit. Actually, I fall - I'd stood on five magnetic ball bearings and I slipped back onto the sofa, but he's going home to his dad's tonight. Dani is in the bathroom, showering. She spends the next hour in there. An hour. The floor is flooded, the walls are sweating, but she's going home to her dad's tonight.

The kids pack. Everything is tidied up. The kids pack more stuff - the stuff that was hidden underneath the sofa. We get in the car. We drive them to their dad's. We come home.

It's all over.

We are all well, we didn't come down with anything, we survived. The flat is ours. I can run around in my underpants if I want. We can sleep with the bedroom door open. We can watch any film in the house without checking the rating. We can go out, we can go out together. Now! Now, it's Friday night and we can go out. Options, options. Choices, choices. What to do with our freedom? What to do?? What to do???

We went to bed.

plague diary - day eleven

thursday 7th may 2009

And so it begins ends. The alarm kicks in at 7am, the dulcet tones of Oasis gentle caress me awake - except I've been awake for the last hour, watching the alarm tick over. Yep, it's back to work. Well, I'm back to work, the students aren't in school until Monday. The Mexican government isn't taking this pandemic lightly, they are doing more than any other country (as far as I can tell), and have this pandemic going backwards. Knowing that the kids are back at school, the health department, in conjunction with the education department, want schools (and teachers) prepared in a way that this disease is stopped, and stopped properly. In my mind (my mind!) I already know that I will be spending the day cleaning.

I shower, and through the open window I hear sirens. I haven't heard sirens in ages. It is as if the baddies have heard the news - everything is returning to normal, we can go back to our nefariousness. The drive to work is still through partially empty streets. The good news is the dollar exchange rate is dropping. We part at the school. We've spent ten days together, locked in a small flat. It's been hell but it has been wonderful. I miss her already. I enter the gates and I am back in that world that drives me so fucking mad! The world that includes my work colleagues.

8:00 to 8:45 we stand around doing nothing.

8:45 to 9:15 we have a meeting. At the meeting all the new implementations from the government are explained. The reason that we are back, and the kids aren't, is that they want us to disinfect everything (EVERYTHING). Every surface in the school, every book, every door handle, every thing, has to be disinfected. When the children do return they will have to run "the gauntlet". This will be a team of four who will check (and question) every child for symptoms. Once the children are allowed in school there are certain things we have to do. Some of the teachers have blocked off windows, to stop the sunlight getting directly into the classroom - from now on all classrooms must be open to sun. All windows and doors must be kept open. Children should be sent to wash hands regularly. If a child sneezes it must (MUST) be into the crook of their arm. However, if (IF) a child sneezes they should be immediately removed from the classroom and sent home. They are not allowed to return to school until they have a signed doctor's note. Any sneeze! All school activities are cancelled. No assemblies, no special assemblies. No Children's Day celebrations. No Mother's Day celebrations. No morning line up. No kissing, no hugging [this is Mexico - could you imagine a British/American Education Minister coming out with an announcement of no kissing or hugging?]

At first glance this seems/appears to be slightly over dramatic. However, Mexico is where the disease started. Mexico is the one fighting this disease. And, once you get past the panic in the press in other countries, Mexico is the one country who has this thing under control. If we (and when I say we I mean Mexico - and how cool is that?) can keep our numbers stable, even reduce the numbers of infected people - then we (WE!) are doing the right thing. This isn't a case of "the horse has bolted" as I see happening around the world. This is a case of "nip it in the bud". I feel really proud of the way that this crisis has been dealt with. My people (MY people) have seen a problem, isolated a problem, dealt with a problem. The government hasn't feared a backlash (and there are elections coming in a couple of weeks), they've done what they think is right. And it has turned out to be right. Face it, in your mind you were expecting this blog to become a diary of a million+ deaths. This is Mexico a (in your mind) third world country. There was no way that they could control it. But they did, they have. My (MY) government have asked me to clean classrooms* - together we can beat this - I will clean classrooms!

9:15 to 9:55 we stand around doing nothing.

And this is where I will never be Mexican, no matter how much I use "we" or "my". I just get frustrated. I'm here to do a job. I just want to do it. We've done the standing around already, why the fuck do we have to do some more standing around? I'm hoping that this isn't Mexican. I'm hoping that this is just my colleagues. But, I have this horrible feeling that, given the opportunity between doing a job NOW or standing around, Mexicans pick: standing around. Or maybe it isn't just Mexicans because I remember this. Maybe it is me. Maybe it is me and people. I just don't like standing around doing nothing!

9:55 to 1:00 I cleaned. Yep, seriously I cleaned. Snapped on my gloves (not Marigolds, disposable gloves that made my hands really sweat) and cleaned. Used a water and chlorine based squirty thing, a huge roll of paper towels, and set about cleaning every single thing in my classroom. Every book, every desk, every surface. All clean.

I come home. I smell of bleach. We crash in front of the television. I go for a shower - although I smell of bleach, I feel dirty. We leave Facebook. We watch "Hell's Kitchen". We go to bed.

*Yes, I know - my (MY) government (the British Government) asked me to leave Mexico and come back to England.