bad moon rising

Friday 13th July 2007.

The morning is spent at Maria's office. At 12.50pm she drives me back home, drops me off and drives round to pick up the kids. I nip inside and notice we have a message on the answer machine. Back outside Maria appears with the kids, I send her in to hear the message, we sit outside waiting. She appears victorious - they are coming to connect the new boiler at 3.30 and will take away the soot-filled, soot-stained, sooty-thing that we used to call the boiler. We drop Danny off at a friend's house, it is a birthday party and we need to pick Danny back up at 9.30. We drive to school and I sign some papers that will help me renew my papers - so that I can work for another year. We go shopping for food - the kids are staying for a long weekend and we appear to have nothing in. We get home to find the plumbers are already there! After much swearing, cursing, dropping of new boiler, faulty fixing, wedging of wooden block under new boiler, the plumbers leave. You could hardly tell they had been - except for the 20cm path of soot that goes from the balcony, through the kitchen, the dining room, down the stairs and out the gate. Maria mops, I dream of a hot shower, Nikos wanders around bare foot. Danny phones, could she be picked up at 10.30? I cook, Maria wanders downstairs to ask if the neighbour knows why we can't contact the Landlady. Nikos and I eat while the neighbour ignores Maria's question and then talks for an hour about all the problems in the world - which are, by definition, the neighbour's. When Maria comes back we have finished eating, she apologises for missing dinner. I get grumpy - I have a tendency towards childishness sometimes - she apologises again. I sulk a bit more.

10:12pm Maria goes to get Danny. Nikos is already in his pyjamas, it is late, she will go alone and I will stay behind with Nikos. We kiss, we tell each other that we love each other, we...I can't remember what else we said. I know we were unhappy. I know I was being crap. I know that I had said the wrong things. I know this. I don't know what else we said. She left.

10:23pm I am on my knees on the bathroom floor. Nikos is sat on the edge of the shower with his feet in a bucket of water. I am washing his feet, trying to get the thick layer of soot of them. The mobile rings. I get up and walk into the dining/living room and pick up my mobile. I see that it is Maria. She will be phoning to apologise. She will be phoning to tell me she loves me. I open my mobile and bring it to my ear. The hearing ringing as the phone takes its time to realise that I've opened it and am ready to talk. I inhale, ready to cut her off, tell her it is my fault, I'm stupid, I love her, everything is going to be alright. The ringing stops, we are connected, in the background I can hear a women screaming, shouting. There is the sound of cars. There is a huge amount of background noise. And then Maria speaks. She is crying.

I've had an accident. I've crashed the car. I'm on the speedway. I've had a crash. I can't get out of the car door. I've killed the car. I need to phone the insurance people. The battery is going on my mobile. I'm alright.

And the world implodes.

[A drunk in the back of a taxi starts to throw up. The taxi driver screeches to a halt. He doesn't want the drunk puking in his taxi. He comes to a dead stop in the middle of the speedway. The car behind breaks but not in time. It still hits the taxi. The owner of the car has just bought the car, two days ago, she is new to driving it and doesn't know that the brake lights don't work. Maria is behind the car. She reacts but reacts slowly. She hits the car in front. The car is designed to crumple, to shoot the engine upwards, rather than into the driver's legs. The car crumples. Maria phones me.]

You're alright?

I've killed the car.

You're alright?

I'm fine. [she is crying]

YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!

I'm fine. Look, my battery is running out. I have to phone the insurance, the police. I'm fine.

I love you.

I love you. I'm sorry.

No, I'M SORRY. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I've got to go. I love you. Bye.

I love you. Bye.

I go back into the bathroom and finish washing Nikos's feet. He asks me what is wrong. I am crying. I dry his feet, put him to bed, put a DVD on, start texting Maria. I tell her I love her. I tell her I'm sorry. I start to wonder how the hell this happened. Why wasn't I in the car? How much did my childishness play a part in the accident?

10:32 I phone Danny. I tell her that her mum is going to be late. She needn't worry. Her mum will be late. It might be an idea if she asks her friend's mum if she can "sleep-over".

10:47 Danny phones. Maria has phoned her, told her she can't get there. Told her that her mobile's battery is running out. She's scared. I talk to her. I try to make her laugh. Her friend's mum wants to talk to Maria. I'll talk to the mum. The mum doesn't speak English, the dad does. I'll talk to the dad. He won't talk to me. I tell Danny her mum is fine. She is ok. She's had an accident and the car is in a bad way. She won't get to pick Danny up but her mum is alright. Enjoy the sleepover. I check that Nikos is ok, turn the volume up slightly on the tv, go into the bathroom and puke.

11:12 Maria phones. She is still crying. She sounds scared. She sounds lonely.

I'm going to have to go to the police station.

I love you. I'm sorry. This is my fault. I should have...I should have done something. I should be doing something.

The woman in the car in front. She's injured.

But you are alright. You're fine.

I'm ok. But the woman was injured. I'm going to have to go to jail. Spend the night in jail.

Wha....

Listen. My battery is going. I injured someone in a car accident. I have to go to the police station. I have to see a judge. The insurance people will get me a lawyer. I have to spend the night in jail.

I.....I love you.

I'm scared.

I love you. I don't know what to say. What to do.

You can't do anything. Phone Nicholas. No, phone Efrain. Tell him I'm in La Mesa police station. In front of the jail. I've got to go. I love you.

I love you.

I am lost. I am frightened. I am in a foreign land. I don't speak Spanish. My girlfriend, my lover, my everything is scared and there is nothing I can do. I feel useless. This is my fault. Why didn't I go with her? Why did I say the things I said? I want to die. And I'm not the one going to jail. Fuck! How could this happen? How could my angel end up in prison? What the hell is happening here?

I phone Efrain. He's not there. I pace the flat. It is so fucking small. I stand on the balcony smoking. It is so fucking small. What can I do? How can I make this better?

11:58 The phone rings. It is Danny. She is scared. I talk to her. She listens. I tell her everything is fine. Tell her that her mum is ok. She's not home yet because she is still dealing with the police. She'll be home soon. She won't phone though because Danny will be asleep. Go to sleep. Everything will be fine in the morning. Go to sleep.

I can't sleep. I can't stop walking around the flat. She is out there, on her own.

1:37 Maria calls.

They've taken my shoelaces. They've taken my shoelaces. I'm going to have to spend the night in jail. I'm scared.

I love you. [I don't know what else to say. I'm scared to say the wrong thing]

I've got no battery left on my phone. And they are going to take it from me. This is my last call. I love you.

I love you.

I'm scared.

I'm scared too. I'm sorry. This is my fault.

It's not. It's my fault. I killed the car. Look I have to go. I love you.

I love you.

[Although she has been promised by a policeman that she won't have to actually go into the jail, that she will probably spend the night in an office or something, the prison guards refute this. She will spend the night in jail. There are, however, no cells for women. She will have to sit on a chair at the end of a corridor full of cells. The cells are full. It is Friday night/Saturday morning. (It is also Friday the 13th a statistically busy night in the jails). She sits on the chair. It smells of urine. The whole place smells. The men in the cells try to talk to her. They tell her their stories. One is in there for beating his wife - but she was asking for it. Another is in there for a driving offence (he hit two people - they just jumped out at him) and has been there since three in the afternoon. This is not good news. Maria walks down the corridor and bangs on the door. No-one comes. She hammers away for five minutes, no-one comes except someone walks past the door and opens it. She explains that she shouldn't be in here, the police promised she would be in an office. Tough. She needs the bathroom. The guard takes her and then stands there as she goes. She is taken back to the cells. At 2:30 she sees a lawyer who takes all her details. He finishes by asking if she smokes. She tells him yes, he offers her a cigarette. He lets her sit there and smoke through four cigarettes - rather than having to go back to the cells. But it is late, he needs to go home. She is returned to the cells. Another lawyer turns up. She sits with her and fills out all the forms again. The lawyer promises to try to get this done as quickly as possible but, as it is 3 in the morning, there is nothing she can do at the moment. Maria goes back to her chair. She tries to fall asleep. To escape this hell.]

2:35 The phone rings. It is an unidentified number.

Yes?

Will?

Yes.

{something in Spanish} Maria Rocio {something in Spanish}

She's not here. She's out. Look, who is this?

The phone goes dead. I lay down on the bed. Adrenalin is coursing through my veins. I am scared. I am scared for Maria. I love her so much. I miss her so much. I know now, NOW I know that this is forever. What we have, what we are, is forever. I cannot live without her. I cannot be separated from her. I miss her so much. I lay there, on the bed, failing to get to sleep. Except I drift off sometime after 4. I know this because I went to the toilet for the hundredth time at 4:10 and I wake with a start at 5:35. At first I am annoyed that I fell asleep. What sort of boyfriend am I? Then I realise that I haven't really slept. I've been listening intently. Listening to every single noise out on the street. I can remember being awake the whole time - but I was asleep (does this make sense?)

I get out of bed. I start to go through Maria's inbox. Opening chat boxes with people who aren't online. Desperate for someone to be awake, to talk to me. I am so useless, feel so useless. I am so scared. So lonely. And I cannot begin to imagine how Maria feels. Actually I can imagine, the one thing that is working overtime is my imagination. I am so scared for her. I am in such pain for her.

[Two hours after leaving, to go to bed, the lawyer returns. Maria is processed. Bail is set at 67,000 pesos. The insurance company covers the cost. Maria is released. The lawyer gives her a lift home.]

6:02 I am sat at the computer willing people to "get-the-fuck-up-and-switch-on-the-computer" and the door opens. The front door opens. I run from the computer. She is home. She is safe. We are together. We will be together forever.

Comments

[Blue Witch]

So the Mexicans run the Spanish system for motoring accidents, but without bail bonds?

That's the best Friday 13th story I've ever heard (weird because last Friday I nearly did a post asking about Friday 13th happenings) ... do hope you get it all sorted out OK, and that poor Maria isn't too traumatised.

[neil h]

Crikey. What an awful way to spend a Friday night, or any other night for that matter. Glad to hear that Maria is OK.