done anything stupid recently?

There is nothing worse than a casualty department in an English hospital; except a casualty department in an English hospital on a Friday night; except a casualty department in an English hospital on a Friday night with a sporting injury (and yes, I know all about standing on an upturned plug or trapping your pubes in your zip but believe me, these events are joyful compared to casualty on a Friday night!). These are facts I know from experience. Not total experience - I have been to casualty, I have been to casualty on a Friday night, I have been to casualty with a sporting injury - just never done all three when it involves me! The one time I went with a sporting injury I was made to wait five hours - to learn the error of my ways! As if I hadn't realised that doctors and nurses had enough to deal with without people running around, basically begging to get injured!! I have been to casualty on a Friday night for someone else and they were seen on Saturday...well into Saturday.

I don't like doctors! It's not their fault, I'm pretty sure that as a bunch of people they are wonderful human beings. It is just that whenever I go see a doctor they tell me I'm ill. Actually, to be more accurate, they normally ask me what is wrong with me and then tell me that either I am (1) iller [sic] than I thought I was or (b) not as ill as I thought I was but give it a couple of days and I will be! The only "good time" I have ever had with a doctor is when I went to see about the mysterious third testicle that had appeared in my scrotum - that turned out a lot better than I expected (and that was not because it was a female doctor and I got a quick feel on the National Health Service).

So, when I managed to kick-the-floor-instead-of-the-ball on Friday I knew that not going to the hospital to see a doctor was going to make more sense than hopping down to casualty on a Friday afternoon with a sport related injury. I mean, how different could it be in Mexico? Mexico that third/seventh world country. I am that stupid man!

Saturday I hopped around the flat, occasionally putting my weight on my foot. Sunday my foot still hurt, still hurt like a mofo (which, of course, raises the question - how much do mother-fuckers hurt?). Sat on the balcony,. in the early morning, I started to think of work the next day. How was I going to get upstairs to my lessons? How was I going to teach? How was I going to cope with the rest of my life? Would I walk like Inspector Morse for the rest of it? (Oh come on - tell me that you have never noticed the way John Thaw kicks his leg out...you haven't? Well, I've just ruined the next time you watch him!) I went back to bed. I snuggled up to Maria. I kissed the back of her head. I whispered: Do you think I should go to hospital, you know, get them to look at my foot? I whispered! To the back of her head!!

2.7534 seconds later. 2.7534 seconds later she stood in front of me, fully dressed, make-up applied, hair perfect, car keys in hand saying: Let's go! One would think I had mentioned a 90% off sale at Jimmy Choo's.

Mexico runs a private health care system. There is a National Health Service, a free service, but mainly there is private care that exists thanks to the fact that the majority of companies pay for your health insurance. Can I just say, as a yoghurt-eating-sandal-wearing-tree-hugging-grauniad-reading-liberal - private health care ROCKS! AS I limped/hopped into the hospital I was offered a wheelchair (twice) and then directed to a (very) comfortable leather chair. As I sat there (for a whole seven minutes) three different people apologised for the wait and told me that the doctor would see me soon. And he did! Seven minutes!!

There are two promises that I have made in the last couple of days. I promise that I will never play football again. True, I should have learnt my lesson six months ago when I twisted my knee and promised never to play footy again. Now, I have learnt my lesson and I promise I won't play football!! The second promise? If I am ill/not well/in pain I will see a doctor. I love Mexican hospitals. I love Mexican doctors. Different world, different circumstances. Not going to hospital straight away was stupid.

Done anything stupid recently?