not all tequila and mariachis

It has been officially decided that I am back in a good mood. This is important, here in Casa de WillandMaria. There are moments I dread, moments when I am perceived to be in a bad mood (ie. a mood that means I am not happy) because Maria takes it personally. This means that she, unilaterally, decides that it is her fault and the solution is: I leave. Now, I understand her logic: (1) Will is in a bad mood (b) I am Will's everything (III) I am therefore the cause of Will's bad mood (delta) If Will is not with me he will be in a good mood (ergo) Will leaves and everything will be happy in his world. Of course, understanding her logic and her logic being logical is a totally different thing. When she mutters the word leave, I go into total freak mode. I know that it isn't what I want, but she just said it, so it might be what she wants, she wants me to leave? If I wasn't upset before, I am totally mortified now.

The punchline is: if I'm in a not-good mood then I really have to tread lightly. However, it is official (I've just shouted over and checked) I am in a good mood. So, in that case, I can say a couple of things that I hate about Mexico, without it meaning that I want to leave. Yes, there are actually a couple of things I dislike about Mexico - I know, I have always painted it as sweetness and light but - I need to rant about two things (I say two things now, because there are two things that really piss me off, of course, once I get into the flow, who knows how much bile will come out? However, if you are reading this Maria [as if you don't] remember (1) I love Mexico (b) I love you (III) I am in a good mood (delta) I am not leaving!).

Bins by the Toilet

Beside most toilets in Mexico there is a bin (not in our flat). This is for used toilet paper. And when I say used toilet paper I don't mean for that moment when you blow your nose or rearrange your mascara - I mean when you have used toilet paper for what toilet paper was meant to be used for. Why? Because for years there was a plumbing problem in Mexico. Toilets couldn't flush away toilet paper. It appears that there might still be a plumbing problem, toilets still can't flush away toilet paper. But - and I suppose this is just me - I really can't deal with bins beside the toilet. I suppose it is me, or maybe it is my upbringing, or maybe it is my Englishness, but I really don't need to know that someone has used a toilet before me. Oh, I know that someone has used the toilet before me but, in my rose-tinted world, I can pretend, can't I? The last thing I need to know (to see) is that someone has been there before.

Banks

I just don't understand how banks work in Mexico. From the age of 16 (and that is thirty years ago) I have been courted by banks for my patronage. I moved banks three times as an adult. Each time was a massive upheaval - changing standing orders, getting new cheque books, just that whole moving-from-a-comfort-zone into the unknown. But it wasn't a total unknown. Each bank made me feel welcome, offered me a sexy new deal. Each time was a step-up. I knew that the bank wanted my custom and they were willing to bend over (in what they thought) was backwards to get me to sign on the dotted line. True, they didn't offer me the world on a stick because they were going to make a profit out of my money. So they offered me free chequebooks, free statements, a cash point card (ATM), free overdrafts, and interest. And all of these things totalled a lot less than the interest they were charging for loans - and that was what they were doing with my money, loaning it out at exorbitant prices. But I knew that, they knew that I knew that, and we were both happy with the arrangement. Here, in Mexico, it as though the bank is doing me a favour. My wages are paid into an account, an account that is only accessible via a cash point card. Each time I use the card I am charged 7 pesos. In other words, it costs me to get my money back. I am not allowed a chequebook. If I want a chequebook I have to open another account (for which I need the names of three referees). For this account I will be charged 200 pesos a month. Each cheque I use I will also be charged for. None of this makes sense to me. How much profit does the bank make with my money? And then they charge me every month for the privilege of being used like this. Partially, I feel as if my place of employment charged me for working there, rather than paying me. However, this is not what annoys me the most about banks in Mexico. And (and this will come as a surprise to any Mexican reading this) it isn't the queues in the bank either. Seriously, if you actually try to visit a bank you have to factor in a wait of at least an hour. And then, more often than not, when you get to the window, you discover that the cashier can't deal with your problem (you know, something complicated, like putting money in your account) and you have to go see someone else (another hour). No, it isn't the queues that annoy me the most. It is the fact that I have yet to find a bank in Mexico that is connected to the internet, that can actually cope with international banking. Fact: I have an account with HSBC - the world's bank. Unfortunately HSBC Mexico doesn't seem to acknowledge the rest of the world. This might not be as surprising as you thought. A bank in Mexico can't recognise the bank next door. Our landlady is registered with Banorte. We have to take our money out of an HSBC, cross the road, pay it into a Banorte. It takes two hours to pay the rent. At least that is possible. It is impossible to pay anything into a bank in England from Mexico. Actually, to be fair, it is impossible to pay anything into a bank in England from the USA. It is like the internet doesn't exist. There is no connection between banks. They just don't talk. And (to make matters worse) the world's bank doesn't talk to any other branches outside Mexico. It appears the world isn't as big as I thought it was - or maybe it is a fuck of a lot bigger.

And I can feel myself dropping into rant mode. So I'll stop now.

I am still happy, though. I'm not leaving!

Comments

[J.A.S.]

Hijole!!! Why? Why? Isn't it a better post to comment in? Anyway; I will pass in your first complaint, about the banks.... I feel sorry for you; HSBC and Banorte are the worst banks for customer service that I know. You should try Banamex or Santander Serfin (but is going to be hell to open an account for you there).

[Sarsparilla]

"I know that it isn't what I want, but she just said it, so it might be what she wants, she wants me to leave? If I wasn't upset before, I am totally mortified now"
... that struck a chord. Funny, the way things work, where you hear what wasn't said, innit.