yo mamma!

It's Mother's Day, here in Mexico.

Forget Independence Day. Forget America v Chivas. Forget Birthdays (and if you know anything at all about Mexicans the whole comment "forget birthdays" sounds totally surreal). Everything, everything, pales into insignificance when placed next to Mother's Day.

On my second day at boarding school, at the ripe-old age of 13, I made a boy cry. I called him a son-of-a-bitch. Now, it is true that I am a fairly foul-mouthed person. It is also true that I can be a bit flippant when it comes to swearing. It is definitely true that I can call people things that, in the cold light of day, are just not nice. However, I tend to be rather blasé when it comes to calling people names. I don't particularly mean it*. So, when this boy burst into tears I was slightly gob-smacked. My jaw dropped even further when, under questioning from other students, he revealed that I had insulted his mother. I was adamant that I hadn't! I had only called him a son-of-a-bitch...ahhhh, I got it! I had called his mother a female dog! His problem was not with me calling him a name, it was the insult to his mother. Fair enough.

As my life has progressed, I have discovered that talking about people's families is not a good idea. Even the most verbose detractor of their own family will take umbrage if you agree with them. It appears that it is alright for someone to slag off their family, but the minute an outsider picks on their family, the wagons circle and heaven help the casual bystander. This becomes double dangerous if you ever get involved with a comment about someone's mum. This I understand. My mum is my mum. I can complain about my childhood, her cooking, her (totally insane) rules but, if anyone ever says anything about my mum then they are in for a shoeing!

In Mexico you don't even want to think about commenting on someone else's mum. If you do the best that could happen is you would die quickly. The fact is, you will probably die - it is just the speed and the added extra pain that you would have to live through before your demise, that is open to debate. This is a country of men devoted to their mothers. A devotion that borders on the weird but, hopefully, never quite crosses the line.

A man's mother is a Madonna. Hell, she might even be the Madonna. It is a conversation that I ain't going to get into.

So, it is Mother's Day. If it was a working day, it would be half day, people need to go see their mothers!! If it wasn't a half day, people just wouldn't turn up for work. It is Mother's Day. Already we have received several random phone calls from (virtual) strangers, congratulating Maria on being a mother. Hell, I even have been commanded by my employer and my father-in-law to phone my mum and congratulate her.

Happy Mother's Day to anyone who is a mother.

Oh, and my mum is better than yours! Don't agree? I'll see you behind the bike-shed later and come prepared. Because, in the words of Carlin (the Daddy of them all) I'll be asking you: Where's ya tool?

 

*It should be noted that friends of ours, Mexicans, have taken to casually telling me to "fuck off". However, the casualness of the moment is normally ruined when their Mexican-ness kicks in and they follow the comment up with "no offence".

Comments

[(S)wine]

antiquated shit, this "yo momma" business; in reality most of our mothers' generation was incompetent and devoid of any sanity. i also don't buy into the Valentine's Day debacle. sorry, bad mood this morning.
:)