I've found my home

from the balcony

the steep approach to garbadale

The Steep Approach to Garbadale by Iain Banks

According to the blurb on the front of the book:
For any lover of a good story well told, a new book by Iain Banks is always a treat. Imagination, wit, and complexity are his hallmarks.
So, there you go. I suppose I would call this a "summer-read". It isn't that complex, it is fairly light, it has a certain amount of wit, and a bit of imagination. However, it would be best summed up as "fluff".

The book loses its way three-quarters through, suddenly turning into a diatribe against American politics and global warming. This, unfortunately, means that the storyline gets pushed out of the way in the last quarter. Everything the book has been building up to comes off as rather flat.

An OK read. I was hoping that this would convince me to read some more Iain Banks books - on that list, in my mind, I had The Wasp Factory down as something I wanted to read. Now, I'll just wait a little longer until it turns up in the 3 for 2 pile, and I can get it for free.

virgin no more

I am no longer a virgin. It finally happened. Let it be known that at 11:42am, 29th July 2008, I lost my virginity.

I know, I know. You are full of the usual questions:

Did the earth move for you? Did it hurt? Were you a little scared? Did you feel slightly nauseated by the whole experience? How does Maria feel about it all? Aren't you a father of two?

To answer them:

nope; nope; nope; nope; mightily pissed off at me; yes, but why do you ask?

You ask:

Will, we (both of us) want to know, how the hell you can claim to have finally lost your virginity today, when you are a father of two? Unless there is a whole roomonyourown/magazine/turkeybaster story you haven't told us? Plus, we've seen pictures of Maria and we're pretty sure that you didn't move to Mexico just because the tacos are tasty.

I answer:

Oh. Sorry. Although I think you've got your mind in the gutter there. However, I meant, at 11:42am today I experienced my first earthquake!

Yes - EARTHQUAKE! There was an earthquake. It was...I felt...we did...oh, sod it. To tell the truth, I didn't notice. Yep, there was this earthquake, happened right here (well, a couple of miles north to be exact), 5.4 on that scale they like to use, and I failed to notice.

I'm sat at the laptop, swearing because it is so goddamned awful to type on, just finished chatting to Alan (who's got another video up at his place and Nancy has one too), Maria comes in from the other room, holding her stomach:

Did you feel it?

What?

I feel nauseated.

What? Why?

You didn't feel it?

What? Why? And what again?

The earthquake.

What earthquake?

That was an earthquake. Everything was moving in the other room. The clothes in the closet were swinging around. I feel really sick, sick in my stomach.

What earthquake?

There was just an earthquake. You didn't feel it? It was really bad. Well, not really bad. But it was an earthquake.

Nah. You're making it up.

She wasn't. The news is full of it. Stuff fell off shelves, drawers opened, a window cracked, a kid fell of his bike. Don't panic, the kid is fine, his bike got a scratch though.

So, I am no longer a virgin. I have lived through my first earthquake. And the earth didn't move for me.I feel like using the question: Is that it? Not that anyone has ever said that to me. Ever. Mind you, if I do say that out loud, it might make the god of earthquakes try that little bit harder. 'Cos I've heard, from a friend, that if someone ever said that, it would inspire the receiver of the comment, to try again and the next time I he lasted a whole five seconds!

tuesday morning

...and there's not much happening here...

I'm amazing

Last night, in bed, Maria told me I was amazing:

the bookcase

Alan asked:

How about a I'll show you mine if you show me yours tour of your bookshelves for your next production?

And so, not so much a tour of the bookshelves, more a charge through, with added commentary from Maria.

early sunday morning

It's 3:16am, Sunday morning.

We are trying to work our way through the first season of Friday Night Lights.

Maria has called for a break in the proceedings, she's going on a fridge-run.

I am sat in the tele room, the DVD paused. The room is silent except for the gentle hum from the fan.

The window is open but outside there is no noise, it is very early on Sunday morning, in a residential area of Tijuana.

And there's this BANG! Except, it's a much deeper noise, more of a PHUM!

It's a gunshot!

A single gunshot.

And the night night explodes into noise.

Immediately a car, tyres screaming, off takes off down the road. It doesn't slow down at the bit where the road dips, it accelerates. You can hear the exhaust being smashed into the ground. As the car continues to accelerate up the road, the engine noise, the tyre noise, are joined by a metal dragging sound.  You can feel the sparks lighting up the whole scene.

And then, one/two/three police sirens rip through the night. As the sirens increase in pitch, so does the sound of their engines, as they pursue the car.

Maria walks back into the television room. Hands me a beer.

"Drive by," she mentions, matter of factly.

She reaches for the DVD remote and hits play.

Gotta lurve living in Tijuana.

Or, if you'd rather, here's a video blog of the story from youtube:

rant

Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey by Chuck Palahniuk

What to say, what to say? I suppose I should start off with: I really liked this book - four stars on my Goodreads list. And then I should quickly follow this up with: I'm not recommending this to anyone. Oh, I'm fairly sure that Maria and (s)wine will get round to reading it but that is because they both read (and enjoy) Mr. Palahniuk's work. However, if you have never read any of his books, don't start here.

Actually, the more I think about it (I am struggling), maybe you should start here. This book is a good example of Mr. Palahniuk's work. There are moments of sheer genius in the writing. The way the story is told is fascinating - it is told in small chunks from interviews with people who knew Buster Casey. The actually ideas in the book, the driving force behind the plot, are brilliant. In many ways the book is more science fiction than just straight forward fiction - but giving it a tag of science fiction wouldn't do the book any justice. Let's just say that the book is set in a world similar to ours...but a little different.

However, there is one teeny-weeny problem with recommending a Chuck Palahniuk book to anyone - he can be a bit extreme. His images are (to steal a word from Maria) visceral. They are very earthy. There aren't too many descriptions of sunsets and ships sailing off over the horizons. There are, however, pages devoted to: describing used tampons/prophylactics; a meal isn't savoured because of the delicious taste, a meal is savoured and you find the wonderful taste in each mouthful because you are worried about the thumb tacks hidden in the food; plagues; and spider bites.

There are some of Palahniuk's books that I can't finish - eventually the extreme over weighs the enjoyment. This is a book I finished: the enjoyment over weighed the extreme.

all the cool kids are doing it

The mighty Alan has posted a video view of his allotment! Go watch it...I'll wait.

Anyhoo, the bestest thing about Alan's video is that Maria now no longer thinks that I am weird (actually, she still thinks I am weird but I have come down a couple of points in her weird-o-meter). Maria has never come to terms with my desire to grow things. She reads other people's blogs and just doesn't get the idea that people plant stuff and grow stuff. Obviously she has been following Alan's story: his bidding for an allotment; time on the waiting list; aquiring the allotment; having to dig it over; the arrival of the wheelbarrow. However, no matter how many times I have tried to explain what an allotment is, she still hasn't got it.

Until today! Now she can see Alan's allotment. Now she can see where he's had to dig it over. Now she can see the neighbour's plot (and his shed). And she can hear the pride/joy in Alan's voice as he shows you his runner bean wigwam, the aubergines, and the two cucumber plants (all freshly watered).

Thanks to Alan's video of his allotment, I am released from teasing about one of my eccentricities (although I think she will still tease me!).

However, if all the cool kids are doing it then, far be it from me not to. Can I present:

Will's tour of his allotment (well, one dead plant, two lemon trees, and an avocado that will not grow!)

Wow! May you live in interesting times indeed. I've had difficulty uploading the video. Typepad sucks! So, instead, I've ended up at Google and...that's not worked either. Bugger! Am going to give youtube a go now...well, you be the judge of my success or failure :^)

Ooo, for those of you interested in seeing new things attempted - at the moment Maria is writing blog posts by writing! Who'd have thunked it, eh? Those kids and their wacky ideas!!!

For those of you who don't want to download this cinematic masterpiece (although I wonder why not?), could I also mention that you never get to see me on camera - but you do get to see the luvverly Maria, two kids, and the balcony!

are we there yet?

Teaser post:

The mighty Alan has posted a video and, as one to steal any idea, I am trying to post one as well.

Unfortunately this is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. It looks like it might take several days :^(

However, the next time you (both of you) visit (so long as you wait 24 hours) there might actually be a video to view on here.

Excited?

A video that includes: my voice (do I really sound like that?); Maria; kids; shopping from CostCo; a lemon tree; an avocado in a glass of water; Maria talking!

Now you're excited aren't you?