I've found my home

sunday links

Sunday has become a day of dread in our house.

Sunday is the day that neil h. posts "Sunday Links".

Sunday is the day that neither of us visits his blog.

neil h.'s links will destroy the rest of your day. No matter how you feel about one or two of the links there is always something that will suck you in. Last week I spent an hour or so reading (and following further links). Two weeks ago Maria spent four hours playing a game. I have mentioned before, on here, the addictiveness of Desktop Tower Defender - a game that Maria managed to avoid for several weeks. That was until neil h. casually posted a link to another version that sucked Maria in.

And then there is Ikariam. A month and a half ago I followed a link to this game. A month and a half later I now have four towns on four separate islands. I would say that I spend about half an hour a day on the game. Maria will say that I spend three hours a day on the game. The truth is somewhere in between. But, seriously, nearly two hours a day on a computer game? No wonder I haven't read a book for a month!

In an attempt to claw back some of our lives we have come to a mutual decision not to visit neil h.'s blog on Sunday, the day of the links. Unfortunately, come Monday, one (or both) of us ends up there, and by Monday night we have lost some time, following some strange (but ultimately fascinating) link.

Therefore, in an attempt to pre-empt neil h. at his own game, and cause him much consternation, can I present my Sunday link:

Dogfish Head - probably the best beer in the world!

I am, at this moment, enjoying a bottle of Dogfish Head 90 Minute Imperial IPA. It is pure heaven!

The joy of this link is totally and utterly personal. It is knowing that neil h. will now want to taste:

A big beer with a great malt backbone that stands up to the extreme hopping rate.

9% abv

90 ibu

Tasting Notes: Brandied fruitcake, raisiney, citrusy.

and yet will be totally unable to. Hopefully, his desire to savour this nectar from the gods will keep him up at nights.

This is my version of payback!

humour - it's a funny thing

There is a moment in The Shield when Dutch loses a police laptop that he was using to research child porn on. When it turns up there is a certain amount of teasing that goes on in the station. I don't know if you watch The Shield but Dutch gets some of the best lines. His reply to the joshing he receives is simply:

Not funny now - funny later.

It became a sort of catchphrase in our flat and is occasionally dug out when one of us finds something amusing and the other doesn't - I get my head stuck in a saucepan, Maria rolls about laughing, I spend time walking into doors. [In passing, does anyone ever really get their head stuck in a saucepan? In my childhood, doctor's surgeries in comics always seemed to be full of kids with saucepans on their heads. This made a large enough impression on me that I have never stuck a saucepan on my head. Maybe that is how governments should get kids to say no to drugs. Fill comics with pictures of doctor's surgeries full of kids with saucepans on their heads and doctors shaking their heads, tutting and pointing out the danger of drugs. Drugs would look one hell of a lot uncooler then!]

Anyhoo, if there was on incident in our lives that was always going to be: "Not funny now - not funny later", it was the car crash incident. That was the single worse night of our relationship. There was no way that we could ever imagine that night would be funny. But it struck me, at the beginning of W*dnesd*y night, that eventually, most things in life become funny. [I say most things because it is obvious that some things never become funny, as was pointed out to me the other day: hemorroids are only funny to the people who haven't got them].

Maria has already written about the events of W*dnesd*y night and I have briefly mentioned it in a post already. A quick re-cap for those of you who have already forgotten/can't be arsed to go back and check: an ex-lover of Maria's was in town and wanted to meet up. He got very drunk. It didn't go well. I didn't hit him. We dropped him off at his hotel. Maria owed me bigtime - I didn't hit him!

As I sat in the car in, it has to be said, a fairly good mood considering that I had just been introduced to one (one? you mean that there might be more out there?) of Maria's exs, Maria and her ex-lover (yes, I am going to bang on about this fact for most of the post!) played catch up. They spoke in Spanish, Maria translating odd bits of the ex-lover's stories but I know enough Spanish, and I know the stories, that Maria's tales went untranslated. However, Maria started to tell a story that I recognised - or I thought I did - it was the story of the night of the car crash. However, after about ten minutes I realised that I must be wrong or at least confused. The ex-lover was laughing away like a madman (oh, why wasn't that a danger sign?) but strangely Maria was also giggling along. I looked at Maria with a raised eyebrow. Yes, she confirmed, she was talking about the.worst.night.ever. and yes, she was laughing and joking her way through it all.

Not funny then - funny later I thought.

The night was a disaster. Well, it was a disaster for the ex-lover (he really needs to think carefully and try to read a copy of: How to Win Back Girlfriends and Impress Them) and a source of upset and embarrassment for Maria. For me it was mainly irritating and annoying, but that was just the living through it. By Thursday morning it had just become an event in the rich tapestry of my life (wow, there are moments I sound like a wanker). Sometime, Thursday afternoon, when Maria was apologising for the seven hundreth and thirty sixth (or was it seventh) time, I mentioned that she really should stop apologising because the event was funny. She looked at me:

Not funny now - funny never.

At the end of the evening we attempted to leave the restaurant - actually, we didn't attempt, we left quite successfully, we just didn't get out the door with the ex-lover in tow. The meal had not gone well. He had ordered several tequilas, had messed up paying the bill, had hit me twice, had managed to announce (for the second time) how much in love he was with Maria  but failed to announce it while I was in the restroom (the  second time), annoyed most of the other patrons, upset the staff. We announced we were leaving and set off outside. We sat in the car for five minutes while the ex-lover tried to buy another tequila, was refused service and then finally ejected from the premises. Fortunately he slept on the short drive to the hotel.

When we got to the hotel Maria decided to forego the parking ritual and pulled up at the front door, we both leapt out of the car, round to the back passenger door, opened it and waited for the ex-lover to get/fall out of the car. He didn't. He couldn't. He couldn't undo his seatbelt. At that moment there were two grown people desperate to get this man (ex-lover) out of their car but neither of them wanted to actually lean into the car and undo his seatbelt - Maria was worried that he would assault her, I was worried I would assault him. We stood there, stepping forward, stepping back, neither of us willing to commit to getting the bastard out of the car. Eventually we simultaneously agreed that, much as we loved the car, it wasn't that important to us. We would just leave the car there, with the ex-lover inside, and walk home. Unfortunately the hotel staff weren't too happy with this. By now there were three of them demanding that we move the car. We couldn't move the car with the ex-lover in it, we replied. Then get him out, they demanded. We don't want to, we whined. GET HIM OUT, they demanded. I stepped up to the car, reached over the ex-lover, pressed the red button, the seatbelt flew up, he fell out. As he staggered to his feet we both hugged him in a definitely-no-contact-there hug. Informed the hotel staff that he was their problem, got in the car, and burnt rubber getting out of the car park.

I told this story to Maria on Thursday afternoon. She joined in with the telling. As she told her bits, the bits she was thinking, she smiled. By the end of the story we were both laughing. You see:

Not funny now - funny later.

[Oh, in case I didn't mention it, this bloke was an ex-lover but, you know me, I'm not the sort of person who would hold that against anyone.]

2007 - how was it for you?

And so it comes to pass, that moment when you review the year just past and look forward to the year ahead. 2007 - how was it for you? On the surface it was a terrible year for me. Mainly because of the last couple of months, which are at the forefront of me mind. It was the year that life caught up with me. I've always been fortunate in the fact that I look young and I can, therefore, act young. But 2007 was the year that my life caught up with me and suddenly I was old. I ended the year having to wear glasses to read, I played my last game of football, I took a day off work because I was ill. The breaking my foot was a whole "oh fuck" maybe I am not as young as I thought moment. Plus, although I am normally up with what the kids are getting down with, I realised that High School - The Musical was not my thing and I really, really don't get Hanna Montana. Damn, I'm old. Worse, 2007 will always be remembered as the year of the crash. This led to the worst night of my life, the night Maria spent in jail. Obviously this night was a lot worse for Maria but it is a night that still has repercussions several months later. It is an event that hangs over us and affects the way we think and live. Sometimes I think that the faster we get out of 2007 the better.

That said, for the sake of (both) my readers I will now present a list - one of those lists that tell you everything I thought was great (or not) about 2007. Everything I liked (or hated) about the year that has just passed.

Film:

I have got to see an inordinate amount of films this year, thanks to the fact that Maria has got over the fact that she lives with a man who works for Sony and therefore has become a lot more liberal in her belief in downloading films from the internet. True, most of these films have been classics. However, I am going to pick from films I have seen this year. Special mention has to go out to Little Miss Sunshine, which I saw at the beginning of the year. I loved the Bourne Ultimatum and Live Free Or Die Hard. Stardust gets a mention as best adaptation of a book I've read (whereas The Golden Compass gets a mention because it is the worst adaptation I have seen). 300 just rocked. Pan's Labyrinth was a film you you have to see (but just the once). However the film of the year goes to:

Michael Clayton

Well thought out, well executed and a film that kept me enthralled from the first moment to the last.

Turkey of the Year: Could have gone to The Golden Compass or Ratatouille but, for reasons that are totally and utterly mine - Spider-Man 3. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I hate this film.

Book:

I haven't read as many books as I would like to have this year. Some of it has to do with the fact that I lost my eyesight earlier in the year and some of it has to do with I started to read some awful books that made me pause...and not read as much as I should. I realise that most of the books that I have read aren't published this year but, what the heck, there are millions of books out there and I'm just catching up. Anything by Chuck Klosterman is an excellent read - mainly because it cause so much conversation between Maria and I. Fatty Batter took me back to my childhood and made me laugh out loud many times. I loved The Life of Pi and The Amazing Adventures of Kavelier and Clay. And The Dancer Upstairs really rocked. However my book of the year goes to:

Perfume by Patrick Suskind

I can nominate this book because I finished it in January. Don't see the film - read the book. This is not a visual story, this appeals to your understanding of the written word (and oh, how I wish that the makers of The Golden Compass had left the book alone). Mr. Suskind also wrote Mr. Summer's Story which is one of my all time favourites and if you can get a copy, read it!

Turkey of the year: Could have gone to the books I couldn't finish but instead goes to a book I did finish and wondered why I bothered: Hanging out with the Dream King: Interviews with Neil Gaiman. I really wanted to like this but....

Television:

Special mention should go to Heroes. This was a series that grabbed my attention in 2006 and I loved it through the early part of 2007. Unfortunately it dipped in quality at the beginning of the second series and really only got going, again, as the writer's strike kicked in. I have spent a lot of this year watching The Gilmore Girls from the start, Six Feet Under and The Sopranos. I have also watched the whole of Rome - which was brilliant. And, it is because of my love of Rome and the fact that they have cancelled the series (whether it is writer's strike induced or because I am the only one who loved it) that this year's nomination goes to:

Journeyman

Basically a Quantum Leap for the 21st Century. As there will never be more than the 13 episodes we have watched I can say, I miss it! It never got bad (which might happen to Life - our other favourite).

Turkey of the Year: House - this has moved from being a "medical" programme to being a "Hugh Laurie" vehicle. I'm not sure that this is a bad thing, just a difficult thing to grasp.

Sport:

The thing about sport is that it has so many highs and so many lows - and if it doesn't I really don't care. The lows reached their depths with Sheffield United losing the last game of the season and being demoted. This affected me a lot more than I expected, I ended up crying and missing my dad. England losing the World Cup Final, England losing at cricket, England losing at football - sometimes it isn't good to be English. But, sporting wise, the whole year has had a high with the mighty Santos Laguna only losing two games all season. The highlight of the year has to be:

Santos beating Team America 4-0

Team America are the Chelsea/Man Ure/Arsenal/New England Patriots of Mexican football. They always win - so to actually beat them was wonderful. To totally humiliate them by winning 4-0 (and it could have been 10-0) was just sensational.

Turkey of the year: Sean Bean and all those other Blades supporters who presented a petition at the House of Commons demanding Sheffield United's re-instatement to the Premier League. [please note: I am totally avoiding the fact that I have played my last game of football EVER]

Alcohol:

My basic staple has (and will probably remain) Dos Equis but I have occasionally wandered away. Special mention has to go to the Tijuana Brewery for their "blonde" beer which is very cheap and very cheerful. I had a fantastic margarita in Red Lobster and I do enjoy a pint of Fat Tire. But this year's winner is:

Casillero del Diablo

A Chilean cabernet sauvignon which is wonderful. However, wine in Mexico can be expensive (compared to the price of a good bottle of wine in England). But this is the year that Costco got themselves a job lot of Cassillero del Diablo and started selling it at 100 pesos a bottle. We now have a wine cellar! Instead of just buying a bottle when we feel like it, we actually have several bottles just laying on their side waiting for the moment we fancy one.

Turkey of the year: Bud Light. Is there anything more depressing than that moment when someone offers you a drink and then places a Bud Light in your hand? I don't think so.

Game:

As Santa didn't bring me a Wii or an XBox I am limited to games I might have played on the computer. There is only one. So, by default:

Desktop Tower Defender

Addictive beyond belief.

Food:

I still enjoy tacos - I adore tacos. They are still a novelty, each time I bite into one it is like the first time and they are wonderful. Carl's Jnr still serve the best burger and Dominos pizza still disappoints. There is nothing on earth to match the wonderfulness of buffalo wings served at The Fisherman's warf in San Clemente - oh, there is one thing:

Filete Balsamico

Mandolinos has become our favourite restaurant - the service is good, the waiters are friendly and when the place is packed [Feb 14th] and we turn up unexpectedly [Feb 14th], they still find a table for us. We haven't had a bad meal there - often we have been served with dishes that are not on the menu, they like to know our opinion. But my all time fave is the steak cooked in a balsamic sauce. It melts in the mouth.

Turkey of the year: Tamales. I try, I really try - but they are a Mexican dish that I just can't enjoy and, for some reason, most people find this as an insult to their country. Worse, this then inspires them to feel that I haven't had a proper tamale and so try to force another one on me.

Place:

This year we have visited Disney twice. Both times have been wonderful. I know that there is the chance to be cynical about Disneyland but the fact is, it is an escape. A break from the real world and all its problems. Also I get to share it Maria and it makes it so much better. Again we have visited San Clemente pier several times, and each time I have proposed to Maria and each time she has accepted. It is difficult to pick a favourite place because I go everywhere with Maria and she makes every place wonderful. But my favourite place has to be:

Bed

To fall asleep every night beside Maria, to wake up every morning beside Maria. This makes my life perfect.

Turkey: Jail. I never went, Maria did - neither of us want a night like that again.

2007

A year of some great highs and big lows. But, as I have typed this I realise that it has been a year with Maria, a year in love, a year being loved. No matter how bad the year has got I have still be happy, much happier than I have been before.

I hope that 2007 was a good year for you (both of you) and that 2008 is better. I will still be here, I hope you will still be there (but do note: you are always welcome to visit).

Peace and Love.

watchu doin'

Christmas Eve was spent with family and friends. We took the kids round to Efrain and Ileana's to welcome in Christmas with their family. I cooked roast beef, roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings to go with their pork joint. Much alcohol was consumed, many stories were told and great amounts of laughter was enjoyed by one and all. At 4am, as Efrain's eyes filled with tears (again) over the Christmas present we had given him we decided to leave.

Christmas day was spent at home, alone with each other. When we finally awoke we moved to the balcony to phone family and give each other Christmas presents. I received a (n exceptionally cool) messenger bag, so that I can carry my laptop about, and a leather wallet to carry my passport and FM3 in. The rest of the day was spent sipping Champagne, eating smoked salmon and watching films.

Boxing day (surreally) had a Boxing Day moment. In England, the day after Christmas is called Boxing Day because it was the day that the common folk would go up to the Manor House to receive their Christmas box - gifts from the lady and the lord of the manor. As we sat on the balcony, totally unexpectedly, the binmen decided to collect the rubbish! This was a clever plan because no-one was expecting them. Everyone had to dash out into the street with their rubbish and then confront the binmen who (politely) inquired after their Christmas present. We resisted the urge to second-gift (you know, pass on those presents that you've been given and you don't really want - one of the major drawbacks to teaching! In fact I'm fairly convinced that teachers are the major recipients of second-gifting - parents look at the crap they received last year, notice it is still wrapped and then pass it on to their child's teacher) and instead donated to the binmen's retirement fund. The rest of the day was spent wandering round the house, refusing to tidy up and then falling down in front of the tele to watch more films.

Wednesday I got up and stared at the wreckage that we like to call our flat. Neither of us wanted to actually do anything with the mess. Also, we felt like we had been cooped up for ages. Throwing a change of clothes into a backpack we jumped in the car and headed north - to Anaheim. Three hours later (including the hour+ it took to cross the border) we found ourselves in a motel foyer paying for the last available room. We dumped our bag, walked less than a mile, sat down in a bar, ordered a Fat Tire and took in the scenery - we were in Downtown Disney! Went saw The Golden Compass (quick review for those who haven't seen it - don't) and went back to our motel room to watch Confetti on the tele (quick review for those who haven't seen it - do).

Thursday we went to California Adventure. Five goes on California Screamin', four on the Maliboomer and several rides on our favourites. The day was wonderful - probably worth a whole post all on its own but just gets a mention here instead. Late in the evening we drove back.

Friday was spent avoiding the flat, organising the insurance claim for my foot and crossing the border to try pay off some of the credit card (which had a little exercise in Disney).

Saturday. The flat is now clean, we have clothes to wear, plates to eat off. Nikos is watching DVDs and Maria is sleeping in front of the tele. I hope you have all had a good Christmas and are ready for the New Year. Oh, and yeah, I've noticed that some of you just aren't clicking on my mini city, Casa de Adobe! Shame on you.

bullet point blogging

Wednesday 5th
> Maria's dad arrives.
> Go for meal in fish restaurant - have shrimp wrapped in bacon
> Walk on the beach have two photos taken

Thursday 6th
> Kids arrive to stay until Saturday
> Flat crowded and very hot
> Go to Maria's dad's photo exhibit
> Get involved in argument with photographer about what his photos represent

Friday 7th
> Maria's dad leaves
> He likes me

Saturday 8th
> Kids go back to their father's
> Don't get out of my pyjamas all day

Sunday 9th
> Stay in pyjamas all day
> Santos beat America 4-0

Monday 10th
> Work and I manage to avoid sitting in on any lessons
> Watch the beginning of Season one of Felicity
> Computer keeps switching itself off

Tuesday 11th
> Work, sit in on a lesson that starts really badly but after talking to the teacher for five minutes becomes a great success
> Am wearing a cowboy hat to put kids in cars at end of day
> Have no internet connection

Wednesday 12th
> Work, sit in on a lesson that is based around "Fruit Loops" (the cereal) - it is excellent
> The modem is a piece of shit and is replaced
> Computer a lot happier

Thursday 13th
> Work, sit in on a lesson that had so much potential but the teacher is struggling. She asks if I will teach lesson next week so that she can learn from me. Feel really good about myself.
> Maria makes meatloaf - her meatloaf really rocks!!

Friday 14th
> Start auditions for Lion King
> Go across the border and Maria buys me some Marmite
> Go out for a curry - Maria's first curry!!

Saturday 15th
> Go to San Clemente
> Eat oysters and a bucket of wings
> See "The Bourne Ultimatum"

Sunday 16th
> Two years ago Maria landed in England
> Spend three hours on computer writing emails and (finally) a blog post
> Open a beer at 12:50

I <3 the fluffer

[Info - two weeks ago I did not know what the term a fluffer meant. Oh, I had some idea at some of the meanings (heck, I think fluffing was an expression used in school rather than farting) but I didn't know the meaning that Wikipedia tells me it means.]

It was meant to be a quiet Friday night. We were going to go the cinema in the afternoon and then come home. However, Maria's company were having an anniversary celebration. This celebration was happening at a restaurant, the restaurant is in the middle of the red light district of Tijuana. Suddenly a quiet night in was suddenly going to be a night playing spot the prostitute. But if we were going to go out we realised that we should involve our friend Efrain. We should involve him because his wife and children had been gone a week visiting Ilyana's family, he had been left home alone. Maria had seen him during the week for lunch and he was very down, not eating much and missing his family. If we were going out then we should take Efrain. After, at least, four seconds of thinking we realised that taking a man who was "home alone" out for a meal in the middle of the red light district might not be a good idea - neither of us wanted to explain to Ilyana that while she was out of the city we had dragged her husband out to play spot the prostitute. Nope, we decided, we would take him out, buy him a couple of beers, return him home slightly inebriated but totally free from prostitute-contact. That was the plan. Honest, that was the plan. A Friday night, quiet drink, no prostitutes, no fluffers and definitely no situations that we would have to explain to Ilyana and I have no idea how the best laid plans of mice go once they are out into action - but this one failed big time!!

The football league works a slightly different way in Mexico to how it works in England. Instead of the winner of the league actually being the team that wins the league they have a play-off system for the top four teams that leads to two teams playing a two-legged match (home and away) to decide who wins the league. Last night (Friday) was the first of the two matches. We knew that our favourite bar would be packed solid, we also knew that Efrain likes to drink beer in large quantities, we also knew that I would be drinking beer (yay me!) and so we decided to go drinking at The Tijuana Brewery. Not actually in the brewery but in the bar beside it, where you can sit and look into the brewery and watch the night staff (if you go in the night) tend to the vats. The nice thing is that the beer is cheap - they haven't had to pay transportation costs! So, plan one - quiet drink.

Plan one - quiet drink failed! We had forgotten that the bar had televisions. We had forgotten that other people might know of the cheapness of the beer. The place was packed, full of football fans, basically standing room only except...except for a table in the middle of the room? This we took, ordered a round of drinks, some guacamole and a plate of cold cuts and cheese, phoned Efrain and told him to get over to the bar. Worse was to follow. Once the football finished we had to put up with some person doing karaoke very loudly. So, plan one - quiet drink, never happened but there was no way plan two - no prostitutes was going to fail.

Plan two - no prostitutes failed! The bar was full of football fans and their partners. As we waited for Efrain to arrive we chatted a bit, drank a bit, ate a bit and did a bit of people watching. There was something strange about the football fans partners. It was probably the way they were dressed. It was probably the drinks they were drinking. It was probably the body language between the fans and their partners. We couldn't quite put our fingers on what was strange until Efrain arrived and gave us one last little bit of information. The bar we were in was well known for men taking prostitutes to for drinks, for meals, for the watching of football. The next hour was spent playing spot the prostitute. So, plan two - no prostitutes didn't work either but I knew, I knew in my heart of hearts that plan three - no fluffers was a no brainer, this was a totally fail-proof plan. Hell, I didn't even know what the word meant two weeks ago! There was no way on god's green earth that we were ever going to run into any fluffers!

Plan three - no fluffers failed! By midnight Maria and I were both wilting - it was time to leave the bar and head home or at least head somewhere that wasn't the bar. The majority of the evening had passed without incident. A lot of beer had been drunk and only one major faux-pas made (someone who can't speak Spanish very well managed to find himself in the ladies toilet!). However, Efrain was on top form. He was ready to move onwards and upwards. On to a nightclub that he had found on the internet. According to him it played some of the best music and was the up-and-coming place to go in Tijuana. We wanted to go to bed, he wanted to continue and it was supposed to be his night, so we continued. We found ourselves in a large white painted room, minimal furniture, a sparse bar, loud music and (bizarrely) A Hard Day's Night being projected onto the wall. Dancing was done. Laughs were had. The evening/early morning was going very well...and then there was a break in the music. The dance floor cleared and on the raised dais a floor show was put on. Three girls, one singing, two dancing - yes, gentle reader, you might have guessed it by now, meet The Fluffers! (Not Safe for Work) So, plan three - no fluffers also failed miserably. Everything now relies on plan four - no situations that we would have to explain to Ilyana not failing. The good news, I didn't see four pesky kids and a dog in a VW microbus at any stage in the evening!!

bad news/worse news

Bad news (for breweries): For reasons that I won't go into on here, I have given up beer!

Yep, I have stopped drinking beer. My liver is still sending me "thank you" letters!

I have decided that coming home from a hard day's work and settling down with a nice cool beer is not the way to go.

I have sworn off beer!

Worse news: God has decided not to help me in my task. Yesterday the thermometer hit 29 degrees Celsius. Today it has passed 34 degrees Celsius. For those of you still working in "old money" that's just over 93 degrees Fahrenheit.

I think a nice cool beer would go down wonderfully, just about NOW!

dancin' fool

It's been a long week, a very long week. This is slightly odd because it has been a short week, I didn't have to work Tuesday. But Monday was a very hard day, Wednesday was a tough day (the students had enjoyed freedom in school on Monday and freedom from school Tuesday, which meant they were all over the place (mentally and behaviourally), Thursday night we started work on the book - me dictating, Maria typing. I got on a roll and so we stayed up late, I didn't get much sleep. On the whole it didn't effect my Friday morning, that went very well, but in the middle of my last lesson I felt all the energy drain out of me. Added to this, Maria ran into problems at one of her new jobs (although she had specifically said she just wanted to work Monday to Friday when the contract was placed in front of her it read Monday to Sunday!) and I troughed out, hit bottom. I came home and went to bed, at 3pm! This gave Maria the chance to go to her other job and get that into motion!

When she came back, she too was exhausted - very happy but very tired. It was a Friday night, the weekend lay ahead of us and we knew that at that moment all we wanted to do was curl up on the sofa, open a bottle of wine, watch some junk television and go to bed. Perfect. Except, except we have these friends (Efrain and Ilyana) who have two children. They haven't been out for a night out together, without the children, in four years. Tonight they were going out! More to the point, rather than booking a motel room or having a romantic meal, they had decided that they wanted to spend their one free night with us. They wanted to go to a bar with loud music, a smoke-filled atmosphere, beer and no children allowed. They wanted to go dancing in a hot sweaty nightclub, where they could have fun without children hanging on to their legs. They wanted to leave a nightclub and go eat in an all night cafe where they could laugh and talk about what had happened that evening, without having to worry about their children. We went out!

We started in our favourite bar and ordered a hot dog (to share) while we waited for our friends to turn up. As we sat in the bar we could feel all the energy continuing to drain from our bodies. Just as we were toying with the idea of sneaking out the bar and telling our friends that they must have "missed us" (yes, we can be this evil) they arrived and we were captured!

The night was fantastic!

A couple of pitchers of beer in the bar, some good conversation and we were up and running. Out of the bar, turn left, then right, disappearing further into the rabbit-warren that is the bar and nightclub area in Tijuana, up a set of stairs and we were in "Porky's Place". Four hours of hot, sweaty dancing, two buckets of beer and then we fell out of Porky's and on into an all-night-cafe.  We laughed and talked about the night we had just had. How there was no-one, absolutely no-one on the dance floor when we arrived. How there were only four people on the dance floor for the first hour (and one of those was some very white, foreign bloke who had no hips [or rhythm]).

I'm glad we didn't go to bed/sneak out the bar. It was a brilliant night!

speed blogging part V

If I get an idea, I like to thrash it to death....

Sunday 11th February.

The sore throat that Maria felt a week ago has been getting worse. We wake to a house full of fighting kids, an outside world that is taking on "build an Ark" weather, a girlfriend who doesn't want to get out of bed and a computer that is calling me to write exams. Maria is (lovingly) deposited in front of the television, I am placed in front of the computer screen and the kids manage to occupy themselves with a football in the living area (nope, we have no idea how the ear got smashed off your giraffe? wasn't it like that before?).

Monday 12th February.

I get a text half way through the first lesson of the morning "I'm doing coffee with Andrea". I manage to send back a text bemoaning the life of the housewife. However, the coffee morning turns out to be a very successful event. Whilst talking to Andrea, Maria reveals that (1) she has no job and (b) we really would like to live somewhere else. Andrea reveals that (a) she is looking for someone to fulfil an opening at the airport and (2) she needs to find someone to rent her mum's new house. We work on Maria's resume (need to add a picture) and set up an appointment to view the house on Thursday. Maria is feeling worse (physically - mentally she is feeling very happy).

Tuesday 13th February.

I wake, she struggles. I shower and dress, she struggles. I kiss her and leave her in bed. Drive to school, work a day, come home. We are together. We sit/lie, under blankets on the sofa, watching more "Heroes". We go to bed.

Wednesday 14th February.

Valentine's Day. We celebrate Valentine's Day! I'll type that again WE CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY! We are in love, we celebrate our love. We wake, we kiss, I don't want to go to work but I have to. At school I am given many presents (here in Mexico, Valentine's Day is seen more as a friendship day) from the kids, from my colleagues (it freaks me that I am given two presents by my male colleague - including a gold heart) and (of course) from La Directore. I come home to a house that has been cleaned from top to bottom (more on this later). I change and we head out. We know that we would have very little money today and we have (both) been squirrelling money away. Our plan was simple - we have pictures that we love (of us together, of each other) and we would get them enlarged and then buy frames from IKEA. We crossed the border, went to the One Hour Photo Stop, downloaded our photos, received our print out and then stepped up to the counter to pick up our photos that would be ready on February 22nd! Nope, we didn't understand it either! We went to IKEA, bought the frames (and some licorice) and then counted our money - we had enough left to eat!

Back to Mexico - there is no way we could get into a place to eat in the States without reservations. We go to our fave restaurant to discover that they are having a Valentine's Special - set menu, 250 pesos a head - which we can afford. We have a wonderful meal - garlic mushrooms, clam chowder, Caesar salad, huge steak for me, large slab of chicken for her. We don't actually get the tiramasu because...well, because there was so much happening in the restaurant that we got, sort of, forgotten. One day I will tell you about the woman in the red coat and the two men in the toilet but for now I'll just say we had a wonderful night! We got home, I went to switch the light out on the fish and....and Maria had cleaned the tank, changed the water and Joe (short for Dave) was not well.

Thursday 15th February.

Joe (short for Dave) is dead. Today is pay day! We celebrate having money by going out and buying food. Maria cooks a wonderful meal, we watch the last couple of episodes of "Heroes", we flush Joe (short for Dave).

Friday 16th February.

We go view Andrea's mum's house. Andrea's mum has had a new house built at the bottom of her garden. It has three bedrooms, it has two bathrooms, it has a patio round the back, it has a large, open downstairs area, it has a parking space for the car (two cars) that is off the road. The rent is not much more than we are paying now. The place is wonderful but we cannot say yes as we view it. We go home to discuss why we can't say yes. We can't say yes because the flat means so much to us - it is our first home, we don't want to give it up. We sit down and write a list, a list of all the reasons why we would move to another place - it is bigger, it has a parking space, it has bedrooms for the kids, it isn't expensive, it is in a nice neighbourhood. We then think about the house we have looked at - it beats all the criteria we have listed. We phone Andrea's mum and say yes. The house will be finished in two weeks time (they are still building the kitchen and doing all the fiddly bits). We, knowing that this is Mexico, agree to move into it as soon as it is finished - so we will be moving on the 17th of March (four weeks time).

While viewing the house I get a phone call from Efrain - it is Ilyana's birthday and he wants to know if we would like to go round for a couple of beers (make that lots - he says). We go. Have another wonderful evening and I get very, verry, verrry drunk. We leave at 2am. The alarm is set for 7am as we have the kids tomorrow. I promise that I will be fine.

Saturday 20th February.

I can't move. I can move but it causes me pain - mainly in my head but other parts of my body try to get involved. I think I might have eaten something that disagreed with me last night. However, Maria points out that I didn't eat last night. I think I might have drunk out of a dirty glass. However, Maria points out that I was only drinking out of bottles - lots of bottles. I manage to stumble into the shower at 4.15pm. I am getting too old for this! Maria spends the day with the kids, around the flat. By the time I get up she is exhausted and falls asleep on the sofa. By the time the kids go home we are both wide awake. We have nachos and watch a film before going back to bed.

Sunday 21st February.

We wake up in our own time. A Sunday to ourselves. I read to Maria, finish the book. She offers to read to me but I need to write an email to my mum. Instead I write two blog entries. These I will copy and paste into gmail and send off. Which I will do......now.

speed blogging part IV

Bin a long time, bin a long time, bin a long, long, long time. Checking my blog I can see that I have posted in the last two weeks (twice) but haven't really said anything. There have been many, many events that I have wanted to write about but I just haven't got round to sitting at the computer and writing. Somehow, something has popped up instead - mainly life and a desire to spend time with Maria, rather than sat at a keyboard. Even now I would rather be sat back in bed, listening to Maria read than sat here but...duty calls, I have to write to my mum. So, I thought: "I'll write a blog post and then send that to her!" Kill two birds with one stone - that sort of thing! So, here goes:

Sunday 4th February.

We attend the birthday party of Raphael Escobar's seven year old daughter.  Raphael is the mechanic at the VW garage and he is a very nice man - to us. We bring the car in, leave some money in the ashtray, get the car back and there are no labour costs! Raphael's daughter has never had a birthday party before - however, we have had so many problems with the car recently that he has been in our ashtray a lot! He can afford to throw her a party. We sit at a table, on our own for a couple of hours. Drink a couple of beers, get party bags and leave.
Back to the television and the SuperBowl. In theory we should be supporting the Chicago Bears (Maria has relatives in Chigaco) but I have a feeling that the Colts are going to win it. This feeling is added to when I read this and not dented (in any way) when the Bears score on the kick-off. I have made a huge bowl of Chili and we sit through the game getting more and more frustrated with the players ineptitude. We switch off the game and watch the first two episodes of Heroes. A perfect end to a perfect day. We go to bed and Maria complains that she has a sore throat. This we put down to the awsomeness of my chili!

Monday 5th February.

Maria picks me up from school with a look of consternation on her face. She demands that I look at the front off-side wheel - there is a stud missing. Not just any stud, the locking stud. We have a special stud (the bolt that holds the wheel to the axle) on each tyre. To undo it you need to use the special key, a key we keep in the boot (trunk to you). It appears that after the thieves had failed to steal the car, failed to steal the engine, they successfully broke into the trunk, took the key out and stole ONE locking stud. They then replaced the key, back in the boot and ran away. We decided to go buy a new locking stud, it was 2.27pm. By 4.15pm we had discovered that there was a national shortage of 14mm wheel studs in Mexico, it was time to make our search international! At 7.18pm, [after having found The Holy Grail, Lord Lucan and the question to which the answer is "42"] at the seventh place we had visited/been sent to (oh, they have them at our other branch - oh no, we don't have them here, you need to go there - you've just been there? - try there) we finally found a 14mm wheel stud. It was not a locking one! We gave up and came home.

Tuesday 6th February.

I am called into La Directore's office to discuss something - it was put to me that technically. When I sit down I am informed that they have been doing some thinking about how best to use me next year. The thinking is, instead of teaching the 6th, 5th and 4th Grades Maths I should teach the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Grades. I point out that at the moment I have the heaviest timetable of all the teachers in the school and that at the moment I only teach four different groups. They are asking me to teach 7 groups! This would not fit on my schedule, the school is open for five and a half teaching hours a day. They re-think the plan (while I'm sat there) and ask if I could just teach the 2nd and 3rd Grades. I ask for time to think about it.

Wednesday 7th February.

I hate Wednesday's hate them with a passion. There is nothing likeable about them. Except, come 2.20pm I get to come home to Maria.

Thursday 8th February.

I've thought about La Directore's offer and I sit down with her to discuss my thoughts. You can read about the meeting here.

Friday 9th February.

We have very little money - but we are living in Mexico. She picks me up from work and I come home to change. We search the house for coins, pool our money, wait until 4.45pm and go to the Sotanó Suizo, to arrive there at happy hour! We fall out of the bar two hours later (I'm a bit drunk) and pick up tacos on the way home. Back to watch two more episodes of Heroes and then bed.

Saturday 10th February.

We pick up the kids and cross the border. Spend the morning walking around Balboa Park, a fantastic morning. We walk, we chase squirrels, we get chased by squirrels. We come home to eat and sit and watch DVDs. An all round excellent day!

So....that should get you up to date with last, last week!