I was, I am

I don't know why people start blogs. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I am still writing this one. Mostly because I forget to write, but that's only part of it. When our blog lives imploded, I didn't want to write again. I did, mostly because Will and I talked about it and eventually I decided to keep it up. He likes it and sometimes I like the blog too.

Not always, though. I love the friendships I've started because of blogging, even the ones that I couldn't keep very long - I learn something from everyone, I think -, but I don't always love the blogging itself. It seems contrived or something. I understand why other people keep blogs - because I find them interesting, I suppose, and so I like that they keep them - but I don't often understand why I keep mine. Presumably to keep the link alive or something. I don't know.

But I keep it up. And so here I am, telling you that last week was the longest week. The kids stayed here from Tuesday on and in trying to keep every gear lubed up and everything flowing, I found myself feeling a bit nutty in the interest to keep everything organised. Does that make sense? It was all this should be here, and let me put this thing there, and do you have everything ready for tomorrow?

And now that they've gone back to their dad, I realise just how much I needed to sit down and just be. Oh, I miss them terribly, of course - and Danny took my earbuds! Even though I said I wanted them back, twice! -, but I am also a bit relieved. We don't have as much space as their dad has and it is really hard on everyone when they stay for long periods of time.

Of course, the summer is coming and then it will be different. Because we won't have to wake up earlier to get everyone ready and out the door in time to drop them off at school and get Will to work. We will just be. And I like the thought of that.

Of course, whether they will want to stay for long periods of time remains to be seen, what with their dad having more space, more money, more stuff.

Anyway, I know it's all a bit disconnected today, but at least there is something. Good times.

Comments

[J.A.]

Glad to have you back; I know what you mean about the reasons to write. I initially started writing because I needed to. Now, sometimes it feels like an obligation. Anyway; keep doing it, I know you have several faithful readers that enjoy your blog!

[(S)wine]

i left a comment over on will's about kids and the discombobulation of routines. i/we get that. it's nonstop action here when the little one's milling about. and i/we get the "i need to just be." strangely, though, after her visit, i often feel a bit of a down period...going from full throttle to nothing. i have a long drive back on sundays after dropping her off, so it serves as a bridge to my usual, quieter life.

i originally started a blog to vent political frustrations and perhaps put up a story or two. four years later i'm still here writing. i don't know why we have them. to keep us from killing someone?

[Alan]

I blog because I've always kept a diary of sorts, and it seems daft to write stuff that no one else reads, plus I actually quite enjoy writing. Even if I don't don't do it that often or am that good at it.